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Current time: May 8, 2024, 2:09 pm
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The last person to post wins !
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FROM APR NEWS IN QUINDARO, I'M ALAN PLACE.
A CONTROVERSIAL BILL TO REPLACE THE NUMBERWANG WITH GOATS AS ALANLAND'S OFFICIAL CURRENCY WAS DEFEATED IN THE FRACTIONAL PARLIAMENT TODAY... THE BILL, WHICH HAD BEEN PUSHED FOR BY GRAND ALAN CORCORAN WAS DEFEATED BY A MARGIN OF 33-15 IN FRACTIONAL PARLIAMENT. FRACTIONAL WARBLER JEAN LAGASP: (FILE TAPE) "This is a fine day for all the working-class goats out there...who don't have to see a day when their children get folded up or stuck into a vending machine. Truly a great day for Alanland." THE GRAND ALAN COULD NOT BE REACHED FOR COMMENT, BUT HIS OFFICE RELEASED A STATEMENT SAYING "WELL, NOW WE WON'T HAVE A POT TO PEE IN" AND THAT 33 DOESN'T EVEN EXIST MOST OF THE TIME. HIGHWAY IMPROVEMENTS ARE COMING TO ROUTE 63 IN PFAFFPP OBLAST... alanDOT IS USING THAT STRETCH OF HIGHWAY TO TEST NEW GUIDE SIGNS THAT ARE 30% MORE RED THAN BEFORE... DRIVERS ARE REMINDED THAT NO MATTER HOW APPEALING THE NEW SHADE OF RED MAY LOOK, THEY SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT TO EAT, BITE, SUCK ON, OR LICK THE NEW SIGNS, AS THEY ARE MADE OF METAL, WHICH IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH SUCH ACTIVITIES, AND COULD CAUSE A TRAFFIC HAZARD. THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IS DENYING REPORTS THAT A LARGE GLOWING CLOUD MAY AFFECT THE WEATHER IN THE NEXT TWENTY-FOUR TO FORTY-EIGHT HOURS... WE FIGURE THEY MUST BE RIGHT, SINCE THEY ARE THE EXPERTS, AFTER ALL, AND THEY MAINTAIN CONTROL OF THE WEATHER GOATS. ALANLAND UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL COACH MARTIN McMARTY FACES ALLEGATIONS OF WATCHING BASKETBALL...WHICH IS NOT THE SPORT THAT HE COACHES. IN AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH APR COACH McMARTY EXPRESSED CONFUSION AS TO WHY FOOTBALL PLAYERS WEAR STRANGE SPANDEX PANTS WHILE BASKETBALL PLAYERS GET ALONG JUST FINE WITH SHORTS...AND WANTED TO KNOW WHY THERE WASN'T ONE STANDARD UNIFORM FOR ALL SPORTS. McMARTY ALSO NOTED THAT YOU COULD REASONABLY BE SEEN SOMEPLACE LIKE PFANGLE WITH A BASKETBALL UNIFORM ON BUT WITH A FOOTBALL UNIFORM YOU'D JUST LOOK SILLY. THE GRAND ALAN RESPONDED TO McMARTY'S COMMENTS BY APPOINTING HIM THE HEAD OF THE SPORTS UNIFORM STANDARDIZATION COMMISSION, WHOSE REPORT ON THE SUBJECT IS DUE OUT IN SIX MONTHS OR SEVENTEEN METERS, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. CONTINUING OUR SPORTS COVERAGE, HERE ARE THE SCORES FROM THIS WEEKEND'S GAMES...IN BASEBALL, NINE, THREE, SEVEN, EIGHT, ONE, ZERO, ZERO, FOUR, THREE, THREE, TWO, ZERO. IN PRESEASON FOOTBALL, 14, 22, 9, 11, 0, 21, 56, 42, 14, 7, 16, 8, 10, 2, -32,767. AN UPDATE ON A DEVELOPING STORY WE BROUGHT TO YOU LAST HOUR... THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE DISHWASHERS ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED... BECAUSE THEY HAVE APPARENTLY NEVER ACTUALLY WASHED A LOAD OF DISHES, BASED UPON HOW THEY SET UP THE RACKS THAT YOU PUT DISHES ON. ALSO, THE PEOPLE WHO INSTALL DISHWASHERS ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED... BECAUSE THEY ARE APPARENTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR A PHENOMENON KNOWN AS "WASHER TILT", WHERE THE DISHWASHER SUDDENLY SHIFTS FORWARD... AND EXPELS THE PLATES ONTO THE FLOOR. MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT DEVELOPS. The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Dafuq I just read?
TL;DR
Quindaro !!!
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
A simple encryption method would be to add an unknown digit to the ASCII value of an alphabet.
Nobody would know which digit was used so the encryption is 100% secure. (Not!)
I'm vacationing in the Oblast of Goatstein.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
Good luck
I've heard you've suffered a severe incident of washer tilt. Was it as bad as I imagine ?
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
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