The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[LadyForCamus]

I do, also you shouldn’t use his real name. I’m pissed at him, but I I think we should remove that if he didn’t give permission.

Yes, you’re right. That was careless of me. I apologize.  Can that be removed?  It’s too late for me to edit.

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B Also, it’s his problem if the mere mention of EP, who he had a problem with if I recall correctly because they were both accused of stalking the same member by robvalue and that guy who plays guitar...

Whoa, what?! 

And no, Ofc I’m not blaming you for someone else calling you a cunt.  I think I’ve made it pretty clear to the community and to him that that was a horrible, derogatory thing to say to you.  My point was that he isn’t the only one who stirs the drama pot.  I guess I misread your post to him, because it seemed to me you were comparing him to EP.  Whether or not that would constitute stirring the pot is an entirely separate issue from his ability to handle discussing the guy, but if you say that’s not what you were doing then I will take you at your word.

[Angrboda]

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Jfc MK.  Stop the fucking preaching already.  No one here cares.

If he get's it, and he certainly can, it will help him.

I say this while I know some of you will think I am taking advantage of the situation and it's true I am. It's in moments in darkness and despair where the family of the reminders help the souls awaken and I hope Hammy experiences divine weather and is stirred by winds from the Compassionate Lord and I hope he sees through the false hopes and delusions of putting trust into other then God.

Hammy - You are to fight for you soul. Forget everything you assumed. Go on a true journey for truth where you silently learn and not argue.

You can do this. Even if no one believes in you, you believe in yourself.

Philosophy being neglected is a sign of black magic on society, making them prefer stupidity over wisdom. That's all. You know it's value but you must search deeply.

You can find the truth - as you see - people are never to be valued above God or else, you will be abandoned and disgraced by putting your trust into people.

Well, the specific content of your beliefs aside, and ignoring the seeming condescension in some of your remarks, it is true that religion can be a balm in times of stress and hardship such as Hammy might be going through at this time. So, in that respect, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing for Hammy to get religion, and if your comments are simply inclined towards a concern for his general well being, so be it. However, the preaching is a bit insensitive to the needs of others here.

[SaStrike]

If he get's it, and he certainly can, it will help him.

I say this while I know some of you will think I am taking advantage of the situation and it's true I am. It's in moments in darkness and despair where the family of the reminders help the souls awaken and I hope Hammy experiences divine weather and is stirred by winds from the Compassionate Lord and I hope he sees through the false hopes and delusions of putting trust into other then God.

Hammy - You are to fight for you soul. Forget everything you assumed. Go on a true journey for truth where you silently learn and not argue.

You can do this. Even if no one believes in you, you believe in yourself.

Philosophy being neglected is a sign of black magic on society, making them prefer stupidity over wisdom. That's all. You know it's value but you must search deeply.

You can find the truth - as you see - people are never to be valued above God or else, you will be abandoned and disgraced by putting your trust into people.

Well, the specific content of your beliefs aside, and ignoring the seeming condescension in some of your remarks, it is true that religion can be a balm in times of stress and hardship such as Hammy might be going through at this time. So, in that respect, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing for Hammy to get religion, and if your comments are simply inclined towards a concern for his general well being, so be it. However, the preaching is a bit insensitive to the needs of others here.

Huh? How could he get a religion? For most atheists believing in god is like believing in santa. Just not possible.

[Angrboda]

Guys ... We either take him as an equal (the right thing to do) in which case he got what he deserves, or we understand his condition and make allowances for it (at some expense to the members here who may need to walk on eggshells when communicating with him.)  I've preferred to wrongly take the second approach as it makes him happy and I can always (do) ignore all his ego stuff...  Should we all have played the grown ups and not fallen into his trap? who knows what is the right thing to do?

I don't think one necessarily has to choose one or the other. Both approaches may be called for depending on the particulars of the situation and I think both reflect a greater concern for his overall well-being.

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Or stop letting it define him.

This Hammy. Don't use as it as an excuse... 

They (secular society and it's traps) did that to me.

They told me my laziness is not laziness and could not even be called that since it's not my fault.

It was only when I began to severely bash myself for my laziness that things changed.

You are going to have be your worse critic. You are going to have be hard on yourself.

Everything they tell you in psychology, do the damn opposite.

Just a word from experience, Mystic. The learning curve for dealing with a mental illness is long and mastery over it is a project which is seemingly never complete in its entirety. Try not to mistake where you are now for necessarily being the end of the road with respect to adapting to your illness, nor that the approach you take today might not appear so wise in the future. Humility as well as strength is required in dealing with any hardship.

[Catholic_Lady]

I highly doubt the EP acronym was done on purpose lol...

[Mystic]

I was out of place, sorry.

[emjay]

Frankly, I think a lot of people here enjoy poking at him, so that they can stand back and shake their heads in disappointment when he spirals out. What he said to ShellB was wrong and uncalled for, and I have explicitly told him so.  (Crazily, he didn’t play the victim or accuse me of attacking him), but there are a lot of presumptions about his personality that I think are simply erroneous.  And, as far as drama goes, comparing him to EP is definitely poking at the hive, lol. We sit here and tell him to stop going on and on about the EP thing; accuse him of not being able to let it go and move past it; “shut up about EP already, Hammy, why can’t you just stop?”, but when a disagreement or an argument is bubbling up, it’s fair to whip that out of the holster and provoke him wit it?

He called Kimbyrle a cunt too on a mafia game. Kim asked him to not use that word again and he went on his 5 page tirades to excuse himself telling kim had the fault of it, instead of apologizing and moving on. When I told him he was out of line he attacked me to the point of using my quality as staff member to do it. It was not the first time either.

I only saw what he said to Shell a few minutes ago. Honestly if I saw someone calling my wife a bitch and a cunt in real life, that I deserved better, I would need to restart my anger management sessions.

Enabling him and dismissing this solves nothing.

Just to say, as I read it at the time, he didn't call kimbyrle a cunt; he said "implies the COMPLETE OPPOSITE to what you cunting claim it implies". Now on a second reading, and especially in light of what he has said to shell, maybe that's more ambiguous. But at the time, I read it as a misunderstanding rather than a 'gendered slur'... so that's why I felt compelled to speak up about it, but if he had outright called a woman a cunt and a bitch, as he has now, I would not, and will not defend it; it's out of order and his bed to make and lie in. I just did not like to see what I saw as a misunderstanding leading to all this shit, so felt compelled by conscience to speak up about that.

The problem is, you guys are (or were... who knows now) all my friends, so that puts me in a very awkward position and always has. So unless I can mediate... which from long experience I've learnt I can't do in this situation... it's my policy to stay out of politics and not take sides... especially since most of the time, all sides have valid grievances. I know that makes me pretty aloof, but otherwise it would just be endless eggshells and office politics and I don't want any part of that.

[LastPoet]

You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs Emjay.

[Angrboda]

He called Kimbyrle a cunt too on a mafia game. Kim asked him to not use that word again and he went on his 5 page tirades to excuse himself telling kim had the fault of it, instead of apologizing and moving on. When I told him he was out of line he attacked me to the point of using my quality as staff member to do it. It was not the first time either.

I only saw what he said to Shell a few minutes ago. Honestly if I saw someone calling my wife a bitch and a cunt in real life, that I deserved better, I would need to restart my anger management sessions.

Enabling him and dismissing this solves nothing.

Just to say, as I read it at the time, he didn't call kimbyrle a cunt; he said "implies the COMPLETE OPPOSITE to what you cunting claim it implies". Now on a second reading, and especially in light of what he has said to shell, maybe that's more ambiguous. But at the time, I read it as a misunderstanding rather than a 'gendered slur'... so that's why I felt compelled to speak up about it, but if he had outright called a woman a cunt and a bitch, as he has now, I would not, and will not defend it; it's out of order and his bed to make and lie in. I just did not like to see what I saw as a misunderstanding leading to all this shit, so felt compelled by conscience to speak up about that.

The problem is, you guys are (or were... who knows now) all my friends, so that puts me in a very awkward position and always has. So unless I can mediate... which from long experience I've learnt I can't do in this situation... it's my policy to stay out of politics and not take sides... especially since most of the time, all sides have valid grievances. I know that makes me pretty aloof, but otherwise it would just be endless eggshells and office politics and I don't want any part of that.

[Catholic_Lady]

I do, also you shouldn’t use his real name. I’m pissed at him, but I I think we should remove that if he didn’t give permission.

Yes, you’re right. That was careless of me. I apologize.  Can that be removed?  It’s too late for me to edit.

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B Also, it’s his problem if the mere mention of EP, who he had a problem with if I recall correctly because they were both accused of stalking the same member by robvalue and that guy who plays guitar...

Whoa, what?! 

And no, Ofc I’m not blaming you for someone else calling you a cunt.  I think I’ve made it pretty clear to the community and to him that that was a horrible, derogatory thing to say to you.  My point was that he isn’t the only one who stirs the drama pot.  I guess I misread your post to him, because it seemed to me you were comparing him to EP.  Whether or not that would constitute stirring the pot is an entirely separate issue from his ability to handle discussing the guy, but if you say that’s not what you were doing then I will take you at your word.

Agreed with all this. To him, I said "You csnt say that, that's totally uncalled for and innapropriate", and to the others I say "You know he has autism and a tendency to go off the rails, so don't provoke him."

So to those saying "why should *I* tip toe around him to prevent him from acting out?" I say this again - a person can only control their own actions, not those of anyone else.

But then again, that's just my opinion. If both sides want to continue to perpetuate drama, that's their choice.