Life Is Short; Have an Affair

[rexbeccarox]

I totally agree. If you don't have honesty in a relationship, you don't have anything in my opinion. Sleeping around is fine as long as you're both up front about it and totally happy. Otherwise, it's one of the sickest most hurtful things you could to someone you supposedly care about.

I'm quite sure I could never physically do it, even if I wanted to, which I don't.

I don't know how anyone can take a cheater back, either.

There was a situation with "Bob" earlier in our relationship in which I came home really late from work that night, and I'd already missed the first half of the game (yes; I'm kind of ridiculous about football), and I was geared up to go have a beer to watch the second half. When I got home, Bob told me we couldn't go to the bar because his ex girlfriend had started working there. I was like, "ah, no. I've been a regular at this place for almost three years. I'm not going to stop going there."

He was adamant until I thought, "hold on."

"Bob," I said. "How do you know 'Theresa' is working at the bar?"

"Oh, well... uh, you know, 'Pedro'? He told me."

"I thought Pedro was up north," I said.

"Oh no; he got home today. I met them for sandwiches."

"Who's them?"

"Well, uh... 'Penny' came to meet us, and you know..."

"Hang on; you told me Pedro never met Theresa."

"Well, uhm, you know, they ran into each other."

"Ok, Bob. Keep lying to me.."

"Ok, ok. Pedro and I met Theresa for lunch."

"Excuse me?" at that point, I don't even want to know what my face could have looked like.

You can imagine where the rest of this is going. I chose to forgive and forget because he promised he hadn't done anything bad, and I did actually forgive and forget... until the AM thing happened about four years later.

After we broke up, he spent about six months trying to "make me see reason" all the while secretly fucking someone I thought was a friend who had a boyfriend whom I really respected. I spent a good portion of those six months trying to figure out how often he'd cheated on me. My guesstimate is relatively high on that one.

From then on, I have been totally intolerant.