Why More Americans Want to Own Guns

[God of Mr. Hanky]

Most coyotes are cowardly, but I wouldn't fancy rabies, would you? Oh, and by the way, I have a degenerative bone disease in my hip that greatly impairs my mobility, so that if I did have a coyote around, it could perhaps cause me a little trouble, especially since they rarely travel solo.

I notice you said nothing about the cougars, either.  Of course, it's hard to construct a rhetorical flourish around them.

Is it perhaps more your style to sit on the sidelines and lob irrelevant potshots? Shame, that.  You seem like a smart guy who might have something more substantial to add than this sort of deliberate obtuseness.

Nature would thin you out, then.   

I was taught that coyotes rarely travel in groups, solo or mated pairs. I'll have to tell my naturalist teachers they were wrong. 

As for "potshots", if you have nothing more to complain about than my posting style I deem you a happy man.

Wolves are pack animals, and they are still active in much of the US.

Wild boars have become an increasing menace everywhere that pigs are raised. They revert to their instinctual wildness and brute strength within a couple of generations after they escape the pen, and it doesn't matter whether they travel alone - they are one of the most belligerent beasts on this planet, and only one of them can easily kill you. Even under the fog of domestication, they are nasty enough to take down the person attached to the hand which feeds them if they catch him unwary, and will within a few minutes completely consume you without leaving a trace, not even the bone!

Bears. BEARS, Stupid! They're everywhere, including New York and Boston, and they are known to go shopping on city streets in search of easy garbage pickings, and will not think twice about knocking somebody down for whatever looks tasty out beyond Suburbia. Who cares that they travel alone, when they sure don't! Oh, and you will definitely need at least a few 30-30 slugs to stop one of these!