(April 21, 2016 at 5:23 pm)Losty Wrote:(April 21, 2016 at 4:53 pm)Drich Wrote: No, i didn't say you had to beat your kids. I just said your a 'hippy free range butt clown" If you didn't and you let your kids do whatever they want. Some kids can be reasoned with. If you have kids smart enough to reason with them then you are indeed lucky or Losty (I forgot who is who now) if not and you have a monster who does not have the capacity for reason, and he needs someone to 'tap the brakes' once and a while and you don't, then you are raising a monster and inturn a bad person yourself because you cant do what needs to be done to reign in an out of control child.
I saw this lady once who had 6 kids at the local Mc donalds and they were literally climbing the walls, screaming and crying throwing ketchup packs at each other and at other customers. I look at the lady she was broken. I mouthed do you need help? she nodded, so i grabbed the biggest one by the arm and told him very sternly his mom just ask me to take him out side and tan is back side, if he did not calm down now. He looked up at her she nodded, and that was it. the other instantly fell back into line and did not say a word.
Again, they at the point of frenzy were beyond reason or control. It's obvious they knew what an spanking was well enough to know what i was threatening to do. I didn't have to do anything more than simply let them know their was someone willing and able to 'bring the pain' if common social behavior was not observed even if they did not understand any of those words.
The point? If you child need discipline then you must be willing to do whatever it takes no matter what to reel them in the frame work of our society (in my case system of belief) otherwise if you let them free range they will be unto you as you are unto Christianity.
Well that's the difference between myself and that woman. If my kids were acting out and I was broken. (It has happened back when I had 5 kids one with autism and I was very sick) If someone asked me if I needed help I may have said yes. If that someone proceeded to grab my child and threaten them that someone would be in jail for assault and battery.
My children are not angels. I am lucky because my kids are relatively easier than other kids. But I think a lot of that comes from my parenting style. My kids are not afraid. They trust me. They listen to what I ask of them because they know that I live my entire life for them. I do everything in my power to make sure they have all the things they want and need. I let them make their own choices (mostly with how they dress and small things). I listen to them and I respect their thoughts, opinions, and concerns. And I never ever hit them, nor would I ever allow anyone to ever hit them. I teach them constructive ways to solve conflicts. Just as I can stop a child for a talk about what choices we think are best and why we should and shouldn't do things, my kids can stop themselves and ask themselves these questions and make good choices...for themselves.
That's the reason they're good kids. Also, there are no kids who are monsters...only parents.
"There are no bad kids only bad parents." That's a saying my best friend who "works with" (bad) kids says. I do agree for the most part, but I've seen both. I've seen twins one a model child the other the polar opposite. No matter what we like to tell ourselves, all were not created equal. some are just smarter than others. some are more emotional and stronger. Some are 'gay' (the real meaning of the word) and friendly as the day is long while other are angry and spiteful. Parents have a strong influence over children, they do whether they use this influence or not, but in the end it is upto the kid to decide who he will or will not be. To say only one type of parenting is going to always work on every single personality, and level of comprehension is beyond foolish. It it worked for you 5 times out of 5 then with a full heart i applaud your efforts. However if it only worked 3 times out of 5 and you let the other 2 run a muck because what worked with the other 3 didn't work with them and you were not willing to meet their need. Then I would be reluctant to applaud your efforts in the same way.
Did you see what i said there? Do you understand that even if your method of parenting failed 2 of your children I do not hold you in the same contempt that you and some of your peers levied against me?
While I might see you as a free range hippy douche I'm not about forcing you to comply with something you are not equip to administer. I am not about forcing you to adopt something your not equipped to do. I am simply content to disagree, even though you by letting two of your kids free range into whatever trouble they want, which can do far more damage than a simple swat( in a non emotion controlled environment) can.
why do you think the supposed nonviolent side can be so militant (even threatening physical harm to the adult) that could potentially save a kids life?
