My aim in creating this thread, is to embrace the lessons learned from our fantastic failures, while letting the negative aspects of them go. It is my hope that others can learn from them and improve.
With that out of the way, think of an instance where you failed. If you’re willing, then please share this experience. What did you learn from it and how have you grown as an individual?
My Fantastic Failure: Trying to be Mr. Fix it with an Irate Customer
About six months ago, a lady came into our store (I work in retail) and was immediately upset. She informed me that I misunderstood her husband (I waited on him the day before; he was alone) and sold him the wrong shirts (this was true; I messed up). In addition, he decided to open up a store credit which infuriated her: she felt that I must have behaved underhandedly. As a result, I tried to remedy the situation (she even remarked that I was nice), but the more I persisted in explaining things away, the angrier she became and the deeper I sank into a mental quicksand. When she finally left (still upset after talking with the manager), she elaborated on what had been bothering her: she had given her husband specific instructions to use her card, and she was operating under the assumption that I knowingly disregarded her wishes and coaxed him into opening a credit. Indeed, this was a valid conclusion that any decent, rational person could make, but it was not in strict accordance with fact (her husband never shared this information with me; she assumed that he had).
Reflection and Lessons Learned
I handled the situation poorly. The lady needed time to vent: her feelings needed to be acknowledged, not explained away. In addition, I failed to acknowledge her remark that she thought I was nice (a classic conciliatory gesture), which was a possible opportunity to break the unproductive cycle we were in. In addition, I was too stuck on the surface issues and failed to consider her underlying concerns and interests: I needed to ask her specific questions aimed at uncovering what was actually bothering her, rather than digging her deeper into ambiguous generality.
As a result of this fantastic failure, I learned a key lesson: if you want to bring peace to a conflict that you are personally involved in, then you’ve got to be willing to put your defensiveness and ego on the sideline: you can’t wait for the other person to see the light of your logic). Instead, be a leader and explore the perspectives of others via more listening/inquiry and less talking/fixing, which validates others’ feelings and increases their willingness to consider other perspectives. Hence, my failure on this particular occasion ultimately enhanced my ability to step out of the content of unproductive situations, reframe them, and engage those I’m in conflict with in a more safe, inquisitive, and constructive way.
Well, Thanks for your time, attention, and patience, and I hope that this failure of mine can be of some use to the community members here.
Well enough about me. I’m more interested in all of you
With that out of the way, think of an instance where you failed. If you’re willing, then please share this experience. What did you learn from it and how have you grown as an individual?
My Fantastic Failure: Trying to be Mr. Fix it with an Irate Customer
About six months ago, a lady came into our store (I work in retail) and was immediately upset. She informed me that I misunderstood her husband (I waited on him the day before; he was alone) and sold him the wrong shirts (this was true; I messed up). In addition, he decided to open up a store credit which infuriated her: she felt that I must have behaved underhandedly. As a result, I tried to remedy the situation (she even remarked that I was nice), but the more I persisted in explaining things away, the angrier she became and the deeper I sank into a mental quicksand. When she finally left (still upset after talking with the manager), she elaborated on what had been bothering her: she had given her husband specific instructions to use her card, and she was operating under the assumption that I knowingly disregarded her wishes and coaxed him into opening a credit. Indeed, this was a valid conclusion that any decent, rational person could make, but it was not in strict accordance with fact (her husband never shared this information with me; she assumed that he had).
Reflection and Lessons Learned
I handled the situation poorly. The lady needed time to vent: her feelings needed to be acknowledged, not explained away. In addition, I failed to acknowledge her remark that she thought I was nice (a classic conciliatory gesture), which was a possible opportunity to break the unproductive cycle we were in. In addition, I was too stuck on the surface issues and failed to consider her underlying concerns and interests: I needed to ask her specific questions aimed at uncovering what was actually bothering her, rather than digging her deeper into ambiguous generality.
As a result of this fantastic failure, I learned a key lesson: if you want to bring peace to a conflict that you are personally involved in, then you’ve got to be willing to put your defensiveness and ego on the sideline: you can’t wait for the other person to see the light of your logic). Instead, be a leader and explore the perspectives of others via more listening/inquiry and less talking/fixing, which validates others’ feelings and increases their willingness to consider other perspectives. Hence, my failure on this particular occasion ultimately enhanced my ability to step out of the content of unproductive situations, reframe them, and engage those I’m in conflict with in a more safe, inquisitive, and constructive way.
Well, Thanks for your time, attention, and patience, and I hope that this failure of mine can be of some use to the community members here.
Well enough about me. I’m more interested in all of you
