I need to kill you. And if that means digging you up and doing it all over again, so be it.
I don't remember how old I was. I don't remember half the shit you said to me. I don't remember how old you said you were. I don't remember how fucked up you were. I don't know if you could go to jail for this but I'm betting on no.
It doesn't matter. Even if it wasn't a crime, it was inappropriate. You were bad company. You were trouble. You messed me up for years to come. Made me feel all alone with the pain. You were fucked in the head and you passed your warped mindset onto me for a while. You made me fall out with my mother in the scariest event of my life. You showed me all those sick things. And to this day you haunt me. In my thoughts and nightmares. The fallout from the past still confuses me. You put these thoughts and feelings in my head, but I'm not like you. I'm not you.
It's not "all" your fault, but a lot of it is. And I want you to be gone. You've been dead to me since I understood you were bad. And now I want to bury you. Finally put you to rest.
I swore that I would never become you. Because what would have been the point of all that pain, all that time if I became you? I won't be like you. I'll put a bullet through my head before that happens.
In a way I loved you. No matter what it looked like from the outside. And you hurt me in many ways until I was kind of old enough to "know better". And now I'm still cleaning up the mess you made. I'm sick of it. Of your influence on my life. I want to be free from you, if it's the last thing I do.
Goodbye, Y.
I don't remember how old I was. I don't remember half the shit you said to me. I don't remember how old you said you were. I don't remember how fucked up you were. I don't know if you could go to jail for this but I'm betting on no.
It doesn't matter. Even if it wasn't a crime, it was inappropriate. You were bad company. You were trouble. You messed me up for years to come. Made me feel all alone with the pain. You were fucked in the head and you passed your warped mindset onto me for a while. You made me fall out with my mother in the scariest event of my life. You showed me all those sick things. And to this day you haunt me. In my thoughts and nightmares. The fallout from the past still confuses me. You put these thoughts and feelings in my head, but I'm not like you. I'm not you.
It's not "all" your fault, but a lot of it is. And I want you to be gone. You've been dead to me since I understood you were bad. And now I want to bury you. Finally put you to rest.
I swore that I would never become you. Because what would have been the point of all that pain, all that time if I became you? I won't be like you. I'll put a bullet through my head before that happens.
In a way I loved you. No matter what it looked like from the outside. And you hurt me in many ways until I was kind of old enough to "know better". And now I'm still cleaning up the mess you made. I'm sick of it. Of your influence on my life. I want to be free from you, if it's the last thing I do.
Goodbye, Y.