My mom is dying, going to need an ear.

[Brian37]

Brian
Your mom sounds like she was an amazing lady. I love the table tennis and dollar store stories. My grandma was my best friend and a very devote born again christian. She told me things she hadn't told anyone. As I did with her. She was a tiny thing with so much love to give, but she was never emptied of it. She would find homeless pregnant woman and help them get homes food and medical care. At her funeral there were so many people I had never heard of that she affected.  For me it has been the hardest loss. Even more so  than the twins I lost before birth, because she was so complex and beautiful. I got to care for her as she got close to death and she did stupid things like stopped eating to rush it along. Its been 5 years and I see her in almost everything I do. Not the sex stuff, lol. But I think your mom had a huge impact on who you've become and how you can relate in this world. I hope as time goes on u can continue to heal, but know you will never forget because that kind of woman is rare. She is to be cherished as are you for recognizing it. We are lucky to have had them in our lives and forever they will affect us.

Actually it was table football. You make a triangle wedge, and the goal is to flick it to the edge of the table, just like a football player has to cross the end zone line. But in table football the wedge has to cross the edge of the table without falling off.

Thanks for the comments. You never "heal" but cope. It is never easy for anyone to lose a loved one, I know exactly how you feel.

October 1 now, still unimaginable seems like yesterday but long ago both at the same time.

I mentioned in another thread I got to pet a baby squirrel that would have been something if my mom were alive to tell would have put a huge smile on her face. 

The other thing that haunts me is that now that she is gone, my cell phone does not ring every day like it used to. I miss being called by her 2 to even 4 times a day every single day. I kept her cell phone and still have it and use it. 

I even miss her snapping at me when I miss a turn while driving, "HEY, you missed the turn."  I miss her reminding me to buy cat food and dog food for my pets. I miss her bugging me about cleaning my house. 

When you have someone in your life, like your Grandmother, or my Mother, whom supports you and loves you have everything.