Hammy's Questions For You

[I_am_not_mafia]

1. Beef, turtles, or buttsex?

Turtlesex.

2. If you had to name your favorite hour of the day, which clothing would you wear?

That depends on what time of day I would be naming my favourite time of day. If I had to name it at night then I'd probably be naked.

3. Least favorite cheese?

The cheese I have accidentally eaten.

4. Most favorite bees?

Living bees.

5. If dinosaurs never became extinct, would you currently be in the middle of having your gall bladder ripped open by a raptor?

I'm all for positive discrimination but I would prefer to know that the dinosaur was physiologically capable of performing the operation.

5. If Wednesday were the 11th day of the month, how many fingers would I be holding up?

If you lived in Cornwall and used the webbing inbetween your fingers for counting as well then 6 if thumbs are counted as fingers.

5. Poker, Lizard geckos or this should be question 6?

The Cornish wouldn't have this problem.

7. Poker, Lizard Geckos or frogs that play blackjack?

Frogs that play blackjack. Lizard Geckos are probably better able to keep a poker face.

8. Horses or donkeys?

I am not judgmental about anyone's sexual preferences.

9. Donkeys or dinosaurs?

Depends on whether you like to be scratched or kicked in bed during sex and whether you need a gallbladder removed.

10. Fundamentalist Christian or 3.5 Billion Hammy clones starting their own mayo cult?

DNA engineering isn't sufficiently advanced to turn me into a Hammy clone but a frontal lobotomy with knitting needle could turn me into a fundamentalist christian.

11. Mayo or salad cream?

Neither. Both have dodgy fats and dairy.

12. Silliness or wackiness?

Silliness. Wackiness is trying too hard.

13. Wackiness or zaniness?

Wackiness. Zaniness is even further along the scale whereas wacky can perhaps get away with it.

14. Zaniness or loopiness?

Loopiness. It's funnier because it's genuine.

15. Music or poetry?

Music. Poetry is for untalented lesbians who want to stand up in a cosmopolitan cafe and express themselves but have no talent or anything to say.

16. Film or TV?

TV allows you to go to the toilet when you wish and not be disturbed by people eating loudly.

17. Cucumbers used for the purpose of dildos or dildos used for the purpose of cucumbers?

How ripe is the cucumber? How ripe is the dildo?

18. Bipolar Bears or Borderlime Limes?

Bipolar bears are funnier.

20. Mint choc chip ice cream or lots and lots of buttsex?

Wait. what do you use for a lubricant??