I was raised in the church (Roman Catholic) and went to Catholic schools beginning in 6th grade and in Catechism classes prior to that.
Neither of my parents were very religious so it wasn't much of a topic of discussion around the house. Mom is not Catholic but dad was (years before he died he left that behind and was atheist). To appease my Catholic grandparents I was raised Catholic and put through the paces of first communion and confirmation - it was a big deal to them though it was also something I don't remember talking with them about.
The Bible stories to me were much like the Aesop's Fables mom read to me. Fantastical stories with some sort of lesson or moral. By the end of my teens I had pretty much given up on the whole Catholic thing and did some searching for another faith practice because I thought you have to believe some version of the Christian God story. In my early 20s I realized that I didn't believe, I was told - this is what 'we' believe', and I didn't believe a damn bit of it and never had. I was going through the motions because that's what we did.
So I didn't ever believe even though as a little kid I prayed with all my might hoping God would stop the abuse at home. For I time I thought since it didn't stop I deserved it...then I thought maybe God just hates me as much as mom and dad do...then I realized that my prayers just went into the ether. I really tried to believe. It just didn't happen.
Neither of my parents were very religious so it wasn't much of a topic of discussion around the house. Mom is not Catholic but dad was (years before he died he left that behind and was atheist). To appease my Catholic grandparents I was raised Catholic and put through the paces of first communion and confirmation - it was a big deal to them though it was also something I don't remember talking with them about.
The Bible stories to me were much like the Aesop's Fables mom read to me. Fantastical stories with some sort of lesson or moral. By the end of my teens I had pretty much given up on the whole Catholic thing and did some searching for another faith practice because I thought you have to believe some version of the Christian God story. In my early 20s I realized that I didn't believe, I was told - this is what 'we' believe', and I didn't believe a damn bit of it and never had. I was going through the motions because that's what we did.
So I didn't ever believe even though as a little kid I prayed with all my might hoping God would stop the abuse at home. For I time I thought since it didn't stop I deserved it...then I thought maybe God just hates me as much as mom and dad do...then I realized that my prayers just went into the ether. I really tried to believe. It just didn't happen.
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
