I was thrilled to be able to get my first communion at age 10, to finally eat those engraved cookies at the end of mass. I was dissapointed, so I became an atheist 
I jest, ofc. I did believe and prayed so hard to god to save my best friend, my cousin from his brain cancer. While he was a staunch believer, that liked mass and catechism, I believed but thought church to be boring. Upon seeing him on that coffin, after a 2 year struggle, I become at peace knowing that reality. The natural world doesn't conform to our feelings, unlike the idea of an all loving god that makes an 11 year old go trough pain and misery for two years before he finally rested.
I still tried to make sense of gods, looked into other religions for answers, but all I found was the same old bullshit. Around 15 I finally accepted that I had no reason to believe. That was 24 years ago and nothing changed.
I jest, ofc. I did believe and prayed so hard to god to save my best friend, my cousin from his brain cancer. While he was a staunch believer, that liked mass and catechism, I believed but thought church to be boring. Upon seeing him on that coffin, after a 2 year struggle, I become at peace knowing that reality. The natural world doesn't conform to our feelings, unlike the idea of an all loving god that makes an 11 year old go trough pain and misery for two years before he finally rested.
I still tried to make sense of gods, looked into other religions for answers, but all I found was the same old bullshit. Around 15 I finally accepted that I had no reason to believe. That was 24 years ago and nothing changed.
