RE: The Last Movie You Watched
December 1, 2020 at 7:43 pm
(This post was last modified: December 1, 2020 at 7:45 pm by Rev. Rye.)
And this addendum to the Deep Hurting Project: The Littlest Light on the Christmas Tree. No interesting story here, either on screen or behind the scenes.
Why, yes, I still own a VCR. I almost never use it, but it's there, even if it's for no other purpose besides being a sturdier platform for the TV than a Blu-Ray player.
- Fucking Hell, literally all I'm seeing right now is a blue light, credits, and falling snowflakes, and already it looks like shit. Is there something about the framerate?
- So, putting a heart in a doll? I did the same with Alison, except I took two crochet hearts I got on Etsy and safety-pinned them to the inner pillow at the places where her heart would be in the pictures on both her corresponding sides.
- And once we get to see characters actually move, it's so fucking uncanny, it's almost like they're guest characters on Xavier: Renegade Angel that got infected by a computer virus. And got placed into a less funny show. This might have been excusable if this was made in the early nineties, but this was made in 2004. You know what else was made in 2004? Shrek 2 and The Incredibles.
- How does getting the pom-pom on your Dante hat in your mouth make you fall on your ass?
- Why do the main kids' faces look like topographic maps?
- Also, one thing I just noticed: at 8:16, the screen goes black for two frames. What the actual fuck are they doing? Was there supposed to be some subliminal ads that the animators forgot to add the text?
- And I was so hung up on this failure of animation that I almost forgot to ask why we're supposed to feel sad about a faulty Christmas light like the music seems to be implying we should be.
- So, it looks like Mr. Girthmore is being set up as the bad guy, because he wants to sell mass-produced items? Can we at least have him do something bad other than throw out a light bulb that doesn't work?
- So, you picked up a light bulb for some reason, it randomly glows, and then it turns into the Stay Puft Marshmallow's face and you don't throw it away?
- Is that Salvation Army band doing the bass line to O Canada?
- Oh, so he does something bad: shooing away the Salvation Army band. To be fair, it's not like the Salvation Army has the best record, but then again, it looks like this is taking place when cathedral radios are apparently new technology, that might not have been much of a concern.
- There has to be a better means of counting money than just putting every type of a certain currency in a stack.
- "Using my money to increase my girth!" And then he repeats "Girth!" like this is his Tourette's tic.
- And I'm not sure exactly how he was storing his money, but there had to be more secure ways so it doesn't just all fly away like it's the finale of The Killing
- So, apparently the point of the broken light is that, when everyone's asleep, it makes all the ornaments on the Christmas tree come to life and act out the shittiest segment in Fantasia with music that they had to make themselves because they couldn't find proper royalty-free recordings of decent tracks, where the other Christmas lights hang the broken light upside down and the sea captain looks stern and there's dilithium crystals floating up to the ceiling what the fuck am I writing?
- And it's quiet and everyone thinks the broken light is dead and then it starts glowing and singing a crappy song.
- And somehow the broken light saves the day by shining so bright that it can beckon the bad guy, and somehow, it doesn't blind the family.
- So, the money was in a bag all along, even though it all scattered when he fell on the ice?
Why, yes, I still own a VCR. I almost never use it, but it's there, even if it's for no other purpose besides being a sturdier platform for the TV than a Blu-Ray player.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.