Gentlemen, Behold! The only movie bad enough to make the Deep Hurting Project I legitimately enjoy: Bratz.
And the kicker is I actually knew about it and liked it for well over a decade before I decided to start it. Why? Well, I saw the original trailer before Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and I thought: this is either one of the best films or one of the worst films. I only got around to watching it after it came out on DVD (though I did try and torrent it, but the only copies I could find were dubbed into a foreign language and switched between black and white and colour at absolute random), but what the critics were telling me answered my question: it was both. And being able to watch it in a proper print only confirmed this suspicion.
Some of the bizarre highlights:
And the kicker is I actually knew about it and liked it for well over a decade before I decided to start it. Why? Well, I saw the original trailer before Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and I thought: this is either one of the best films or one of the worst films. I only got around to watching it after it came out on DVD (though I did try and torrent it, but the only copies I could find were dubbed into a foreign language and switched between black and white and colour at absolute random), but what the critics were telling me answered my question: it was both. And being able to watch it in a proper print only confirmed this suspicion.
Some of the bizarre highlights:
- Mexican families with their own live-in mariachi band. (This is actually explained in the commentary, and it's legitimately disappointing in how mundane the explanation is.)
- A girl changing outfits in public while lying down and tossing her clothes in the air.
- A high school with a student body officially divided into 48 cliques, including two separate groups of gangstas, disco dorks, and kids who like to dress up like dinosaurs. This is a thing, and you will see these random extras dressed in bell-bottoms or in dinosaur costumes throughout the film.
- The Alpha Bitch, named Meredith, is apparently rich enough to live in a mansion, and can even afford multiple matching outfits for her Pomeranian despite having a high school principal as a dad.
- Meredith also has her own conference room with hidden cameras and a fucking katana which she uses to threaten one of the Bratz.
- Also, she decides to hold a second Super Sweet Sixteen party (despite being 18, and even the movie knows how little sense this makes), and is able to afford to ride in on an elephant, and to get MTV to film it.
- A kid who's going through puberty constantly hitting on a girl who's likely not even reached menarch, even when she's dressed like a clown.
- Also, did I mention the Bratz become sexy clowns for the Super Sweet Sixteen party?
- Several musical numbers, at least one of which I swear is cribbing from Frank Zappa in the bridge.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
