Atheists are miserable.

[kılıç_mehmet]

Your quote horrifies me. No one should be fueled by hate.

Only our enemies should be afraid. And that is if they cross us.
As the Germans would say, "Haß und Vergeltung!".

I'm contributing FOR myself. Except for my family, then I'm raising good children with my lover so that they'll be happy.

What can you really "contribute" for yourself? You'll be dead in 70 years. Your contributions are needed elsewhere friend. Better focus there. Focus on your children, focus on your marriage.
Raise children that will be helpful to your country. That could be your ideal, your "red apple".
My red apple is the wellbeing of my people. The formation of the country that will lead them to this state of wellbeing. This will benefit me, and my children, and my grandchildren.
But my aim and goal are not "personal", meaning, they are not focused on my individual self, but on the public.

And I don't know how I'd feel about being remembered for the collective deeds of America, like Turkey, we have have some pretty horrible offenses in our history.

I remember no such offense that I have to be ashamed of. I only know of the grand victories and accomplishments that I am proud to this day.

And why is that a start? Why is that important?

It is important because your life is finite. You know where it's going to end up. At the mortuary slab. Then, in the grave, meters under the earth.
Any contributions you make to yourself are actually moot. So it's best to contribute to something that people other than yourself can benefit from.
Especially the next generations.