(June 19, 2012 at 6:07 pm)gringoperry Wrote:(June 19, 2012 at 5:58 pm)Brian37 Wrote: I warn against always placating the emotions and insecurities of others. Unless you have been in a captive situation such as school and or workplace, or even worse, live under a nation that oppresses you for dissent, merely being offensive, or having passion for an issue, by itself is not a crime.
There is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is also nothing wrong with bitching either. There is not one human on this planet who hasn't bitched about something, even if only in their mind. You can control your physical actions in reacting to others, as all should. But don't play thought police, even with yourself. You can ultimately only be yourself.
Context is what matters, not avoiding offending people all the time at all costs. It should depend on the situation as a case by case basis. Otherwise if we become a society of "taboos" to avoid conflict or hurt feelings, the problem always becomes "who gets to decide"?
I can't really argue with that, in most cases. However, I have 18 years in customer service experience and I know that people's defenses are very easily broken down, with the right approach. Also, I come from Northern Ireland so I know all about being in oppressive situations. When you have to talk a gunman out of shooting you, when he has been brainwashed into believing that you represent everything that he hates, you learn as you go or become another statistic. In fairness, though, it is my idealistic view of the world which usually lands me looking down the barrel of a gun, so point taken.
I actually have not done it here, as much as I should, but do you know how to box, kick verbal ass, without making people run? You simply say look, there is a difference between you the person, and an individual claim a person may make.
In my history in dealing with most detractors, once you warn them not to take the subject matter personally, not all of the time, but most of the time they do not.
I really am an equal opportunity offender. I have offended a pantheist, who is now an atheist. I have offended a Mayan conspiracy fan. I still to this day piss off an atheist libertarian who falsely thinks I am a nanny state advocate. And I have had a 5 year battle with one Christian on another board who has always hated my needling and blasphemy, but to his credit, stuck it out.
There is no way humanly possible on a planet of 7 billion to only say nice things all the time. That attitude is as utopian in thought as any political party or religion. The best we can do is to let the words fly and agree that we all want the same thing. We all want food, shelter, a means to survive and the right to bitch when we don't like something.
What binds humans together is not our common likes or dislikes, what binds us together is our common condition. And our common condition is that we will never agree on all things all the time.
