(September 27, 2013 at 8:38 pm)pineapplebunnybounce Wrote: I agree with Nora's point way earlier in this post. And I find that the fact the thread has turned into mehmet's instructions for how girls can protect themselves is actually proving the case.This is so true. Why aren't we teaching boys from a very young age about this? Many rapists have no idea that what they have done is wrong (but she's my ex-girlfriend! We've done it a hundred times!). And often they DO get reported and prosecuted and now they're labeled a sex criminal forever (I don't know about other countries, but in the US if convicted of a sex crime you have to resister with the police in your area FOREVER.)
How many of you have ever sat a man down, tell him a few rape stories and how the victims survived it and tell them never to try things like these? Do you tell them don't drink so much that you may accidentally rape someone and not remember? Do you tell them to always ask and if they're not sure never never do it?
Because as a woman many people in my life have taken the liberty to sit me down and tell me how to be careful to prevent rape. I know they do it because they worry but why haven't they done it to men? I see posts on my fb about brutal rape cases and the ending is always: tell all the women you know to not (insert whatever the victim did), because they may increase chances of being raped. It never says: tell all the men you know not to do this.
My parents actually did actually have discussions with me about cheating in school and stealing stuff. They also tell me never to physically attack anybody except in self defence. They told me when I was a child that crime is never worth it and I'll lose everything just for one moment's stupidity. But after reading a few rape testimonials, it's as if the boy only realized after everything that he raped the girl. Many of them didn't realize it was rape. ?!
I know someone who was just on a Grand Jury, and they had loads of weird sexual assault cases, many of them perpetrated by otherwise good guys (often the girls are shocked that such a nice guy would do this to them), and the Grand Juries feel awful about indicting them and condemning them to lives of being labeled as sexual predators. But they do indict them, no matter what nice guys they otherwise are.
There are many reasons why we need to constantly and explicitly educate boys and men about the need to make absolutely sure your partner is purring like a kitten before and during a sex act.