(October 20, 2013 at 10:40 am)leodeo Wrote: before i was a christian but then i felt like god doesn't care about me and basically i came to the belief that god has his own plan/agenda and doesn't really care about me or my happiness.
It would seem that believing that god cares and has a plan for you really had no bearing on your clinical depression. Clinical depression is a bitch regardless of what you believe. It is natural to look back to a time before you were depressed and wonder what you might have changed that fucked things up. But it just doesn't work that way.
My suggestion to you would be to give up trying to undo the depression by adjusting your belief systems. Your mind may continue to thrash around like that, searching for relief. That isn't completely under your control either. But you should focus on actually treating your depression. If you're on medication make sure you take it regularly. If you're meeting with therapist of some kind or a group, make sure you go.
Depression can, and usually does, lift. Try not to despair that it never will but accept that you'll have the symptoms until it does. Look forward to being well again.
