Depending on various factors (time of day, relative humidity, barometric pressure, how much weed I've blazed) I usually approach my crumpet very slowly, almost stealthy. I find that if not approached properly, the opening is far less climactic. Then, once properly brought in for a closer look, I gently peel open the warm folds to expose the marvelous nooks and crannies contained within. Once I've penetrated the exterior, I slide my knife in slowly, as to suggest opening, and then I withdraw my blade and re-insert it again over and over all the way around the yummy goodness until she splits open like a volcano. Next, I spread my jam all over the warm, gaping beauty. You ain't seen nothin til your down on a muffin, I'm tellin ya.
Wait. What the hell are we talking about here
hock:
Wait. What the hell are we talking about here
hock:
