To the OP: if you worry about whether you should really abandon God, maybe you shouldn't.
I have no advice though. Our situations are worlds apart. I never think about God or any other gods. I just don't, no effort required. That is because I have no active belief in them. But it sounds like you do. Why are you so anxious to leave that behind? Weren't you happy as a believer? You can't go getting too excited about what a couple of folks say on youtube.
Good luck.
I have no advice though. Our situations are worlds apart. I never think about God or any other gods. I just don't, no effort required. That is because I have no active belief in them. But it sounds like you do. Why are you so anxious to leave that behind? Weren't you happy as a believer? You can't go getting too excited about what a couple of folks say on youtube.
Good luck.