You guys really helped me out, and I got to thinking about things. I didn't send his brother the message; I ended up doing things a bit differently.
I realized I fucked up. I really, really, truly fucked up. I had an amazing man who was willing to deal with, and loved me despite, my quiet insanity, and my quiet insanity ruined our relationship. I loved him so much, and pushed him to limits. I feel like the worst person in the world.
I have gotten a bit obsessed with my search for him, but his family members, I've decided, are my last resort. He seems to have shunned social media, for the most part, so the obsessive googling has gotten me very little, but enough to give me some hope. The thing is: I thought I wanted him to share in the walk down memory lane, but what I really want is to apologize to him profusely... and also, I'll admit, that I would love for us to re-connect and live out the fairy tale we started. The truth is: if I had my 'druthers, he'd reply to one of the messages I've sent him (one to his WAY old email, and the other to his google+ account, which shows me almost nothing. His profile pic there is wicked handsome, though), we'd get to know each other again for a few months, he'd book a plane ticket here, he'd decide to stay, and we'd live happily ever after, whatever that means. I have no right to expect it though. I've always attempted to live in a "no regrets" way, but I realize I have every regret right now.
I just have no idea how to get Dale's attention without being insane about it. I feel like it might be important to both of us. I could be totally wrong; I've dealt with heartache so many times; it would suck if this didn't happen, but I would live. I just want to know.
How can I get his attention? I've actually (seriously: I might be completely off my rocker) been thinking about buying a ticket to Oz to find him, which is probably ridiculous, given my manic state right now.
You guys have anything for me? Gawds... even anything to send me into a depressive state would be better than the anxiety I have over waiting to see if Dale will respond to anything I've put out there.
Thanks again. Sorry for the length.
I realized I fucked up. I really, really, truly fucked up. I had an amazing man who was willing to deal with, and loved me despite, my quiet insanity, and my quiet insanity ruined our relationship. I loved him so much, and pushed him to limits. I feel like the worst person in the world.
I have gotten a bit obsessed with my search for him, but his family members, I've decided, are my last resort. He seems to have shunned social media, for the most part, so the obsessive googling has gotten me very little, but enough to give me some hope. The thing is: I thought I wanted him to share in the walk down memory lane, but what I really want is to apologize to him profusely... and also, I'll admit, that I would love for us to re-connect and live out the fairy tale we started. The truth is: if I had my 'druthers, he'd reply to one of the messages I've sent him (one to his WAY old email, and the other to his google+ account, which shows me almost nothing. His profile pic there is wicked handsome, though), we'd get to know each other again for a few months, he'd book a plane ticket here, he'd decide to stay, and we'd live happily ever after, whatever that means. I have no right to expect it though. I've always attempted to live in a "no regrets" way, but I realize I have every regret right now.
I just have no idea how to get Dale's attention without being insane about it. I feel like it might be important to both of us. I could be totally wrong; I've dealt with heartache so many times; it would suck if this didn't happen, but I would live. I just want to know.
How can I get his attention? I've actually (seriously: I might be completely off my rocker) been thinking about buying a ticket to Oz to find him, which is probably ridiculous, given my manic state right now.
You guys have anything for me? Gawds... even anything to send me into a depressive state would be better than the anxiety I have over waiting to see if Dale will respond to anything I've put out there.
Thanks again. Sorry for the length.
