Have an etiquette question, of all things.
figured the crew here might have some interesting input so here goes:
Several years ago a LARGE family party was moved back on the calendar a month so cousin 'Deanna and hubby Bobbo' (NTRN) could attend.
(you already know where this is headed)
So guess who was a no show for the party ? Yeppers, D and B. (and no call beforehand with even a pathetic excuse)
Anyhow, I figure this is a Miss Manners 'Nuclear Retaliation' "Social DEATH PENALTY" situation, no questions asked, no doubt about it. We are no longer related to D & B. [period]
So, how does that work ? They don't seem to notice, but I don't really care. Is there a time limit? They're late 60s/early70s, I assume it's a lifetime ban. (assuming they don't come to their senses and throw themselves at our collective feet, beseeching forgiveness)
Do we avoid their kids marriages/events?
Do we escort them from other family events should they show up? Or we just keep ignoring them ? (I have walked away from them at 2 neighbors funeral luncheons so far, I assume it's different for a family member?)
Do we bring new family members up to speed on the problem?
If unrelated neighbors ask about what I hope comes across as blatant tension and ostracism at community events, do we inform them ?
This hasn't really come up before in the family from a social situation, past 'feuds' have been over legal/business disagreements, we're in a new game here and we really don't know the rules.
figured the crew here might have some interesting input so here goes:
Several years ago a LARGE family party was moved back on the calendar a month so cousin 'Deanna and hubby Bobbo' (NTRN) could attend.
(you already know where this is headed)
So guess who was a no show for the party ? Yeppers, D and B. (and no call beforehand with even a pathetic excuse)
Anyhow, I figure this is a Miss Manners 'Nuclear Retaliation' "Social DEATH PENALTY" situation, no questions asked, no doubt about it. We are no longer related to D & B. [period]
So, how does that work ? They don't seem to notice, but I don't really care. Is there a time limit? They're late 60s/early70s, I assume it's a lifetime ban. (assuming they don't come to their senses and throw themselves at our collective feet, beseeching forgiveness)
Do we avoid their kids marriages/events?
Do we escort them from other family events should they show up? Or we just keep ignoring them ? (I have walked away from them at 2 neighbors funeral luncheons so far, I assume it's different for a family member?)
Do we bring new family members up to speed on the problem?
If unrelated neighbors ask about what I hope comes across as blatant tension and ostracism at community events, do we inform them ?
This hasn't really come up before in the family from a social situation, past 'feuds' have been over legal/business disagreements, we're in a new game here and we really don't know the rules.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
