Ask a physically disabled guy

[KevinM1]

I was born with Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita.  I've had ~43 or so surgeries, most of them when I was a kid, and most of them osteotomies.

So, ask me shit.  Or don't.  Whatever, it's cool.

Haven't you ever met any "Real Christians" TM that could cure you with prayer? I mean just how many demons do you have?

No.  Thankfully, New Hampshire doesn't have a lot of evangelical types.  Most theists around here are smart enough to know that things like this can't be cured through their voodoo.

And I carry a shitload of demons.  They're officially a posse.  They cause me to be caustically sarcastic and write really bad poetry.

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But, yeah.  There's nothing good about being disabled.  The whole "appreciating life more" sentiment that's been popularized and romanticized is nice and all, but I'd trade whatever perspective I may have gained by being disabled for the ability to take a piss by myself.

That sounds to me mindbogglingly stupid, to say that one appreciates life more because one is disabled.  I know I did not appreciate life more when I had a sprained ankle, and I am pretty sure I would have a more dim view of life if I had a permanent disability.  And given your statement about being happy about 90% of the time, but that the "other 10% can get pretty damn black," that sure does not sound like you appreciate life more.  I think I would be fucking livid if I were disabled and someone told me I appreciated life more because of my disability or some such thing.

The woman I know who had polio has not had a good life.  She has made the best of it, but I am pretty sure she would be happier if she had never contracted polio.  Her disability has prevented her from doing many things that she wanted to do (obviously!).  Certainly, if there were a magic cure for her now, she would be happier than she is at present.

She has preferred the way children react to her, asking her honest questions, than the weird way that some adults have reacted to her.

God, that must be galling.  It would make me want to be able to just whack them up side the head.

The worst are the people who act like I'm mentally disabled. You know, the kinds of people who lean down to my eye level, maintain constant, blankly staring eye contact, and speak in loud, slow, single syllable words. Those are the people who are lucky I can't get out of my chair.

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I'm very sorry for all you've been through

Thanks.  It's not a huge deal most days.  I just deal with it without thinking about it because it's who I am.  My biggest existential crisis right now is a complete lack of love life.  I had one girlfriend at the end of high school/beginning of college.  After that, there were two other people I fell for, but one was engaged, and the other was coming off a break up and I didn't want to be a temporary rebound.  None of the others I met could compare to them, especially not to the standards set by my ex.

I'm actually friends with her again.  It takes a lot for me to open up emotionally to people.  I'm very guarded when it comes to the really real stuff.  We had been Facebook friends for a bit, but I didn't actually reach out to talk to her again until a couple years ago because I was afraid she'd reject me again (not that the breakup was entirely her fault... I was an idiot in a lot of ways).  But she didn't, and we both kind of aired out our dirty laundry and apologized to each other.  

Unfortunately for me, I'm still kind of in love with her, while she's been with her guy for 15 years.  So, things are very bittersweet on my end.  I'd rather have her in my life in this capacity than not at all, so it's a net positive, even if unrequited love sucks.