What IS good, and how do we determine it?

[Catholic_Lady]

Who says that you did?  You couldn't if you tried, it's inexcusable......that's one of my moral truths.

Well we've been in the AF for 2 years, so it hasn't been that long. I have never met or heard about a wife cheating.

Rgr, rgr, you're new.  Give it a few more years, a few deployments, and watch that field change in front of your eyes..lol.

So, continuing with this business about waiting until marriage......since the marriage -itself- doesn't seem to have anything to do with the benefits which are important to you...where does that leave your non-god based reasons for waiting until marriage?

 I do think that 2 people who are in a loving marriage tend to have a more serious commitment to each other than 2 people who are involved in a one night stand, a fling, or even a relationship. If you are or ever  were married, wouldn't you say you generally have/had more commitment to your spouse than to a girlfriend/boyfriend or to the bootie call or to the one time person? Lol.

Of course, there are exceptions, but generally speaking, married people tend to be more invested in each other and more committed to each other than people in those other types of relationships. (I'm going to repeat that part again, so it doesn't get repeated to me: there are exceptions. ;-) )

So, because of that, I think if you get pregnant while you are married, you are more likely to have a more stable environment for a child than if you get pregnant from a boyfriend, a bootie call, or a one night stand. This will decrease (not completely eliminate, but decrease) the chances of a child growing up without a father. And even if there is a divorce, I think it's generally better for a child to have a divorced father than a father who he never met because he was just a one night stand.

I also think that people are less likely to get taken advantage of when they have sex with their spouse verses with a one night stand or a fling. Since people usually tend to care about their spouse more than they do about their boyfriend/girlfriend or their flavor of the month, you are probably less likely to be taken advantage of in that sort of way. Spouses are generally likely to love and care about each other more so than one-night-standers.

Lastly, obviously , there is the STD thing. You have a much higher chance of contracting an std if you sleep with 15 people who slept with 15 other people verses just waiting until you're married to someone who also waited until he was married. Of course, STD's can still happen because one of both people can cheat, but you are still setting yourself up for a safer bet if you wait verses if you just go around having multiple partners.

This is why I believe, from a purely objective level, why it seems safer to wait. It's a personal decision my husband and I made, and it's something I will definitely teach my future children. But I don't lose respect for anyone who chooses differently.

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If 2 people enter a relationship in the same conditions, then if what you say is true, the same applies! The marriage part is irrelevant.

You are correct. If 2 people enter a relationship where they have promised each other to be committed for life, then the same applies.

Not very many relationships are like that though. Usually when 2 people fully intend and have promised each other to be committed for life, they just get married and get the tax benefits, etc. I would wonder why they don't just get married if they fully intend on committing for life. But if 2 people did make that commitment without getting married, then as far as the non God related, practical reasons are concerned, yes, the same would apply.

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Rhythm, were you in the AF?