So, just joined and what not. Thought I'd start with a little bit about how I've ended up here!
I live in the UK but my family, who all also live here, are all Irish Catholics. My maternal Nan, the family matriarch, and Grandad are (or were, my Grandad died last year) very devout. My Mum was very involved in the Church when I was young and me and my brother were altar servers, in the choir, etc. My Dad went through the motions but to this day I do not know how much he does or doesn't believe it. My large extended family, to whom I am very close, are all Catholics and practicing.
Catholicism has never sat right with me. I looked at what I was told in Church and saw in the Bible and looked at what my education was teaching me in science and history and the two quite obviously did not match. Something had to be wrong. Studying history, which I love, was especially enlightening in terms of the development of the Church as an institution and I realised it had never been The Authority where faith was concerned.
I particularly found some of the moral stances of Catholicism increasingly hard to swallow. The rejection of gay relationships and abortion really sat badly with me and I found myself less and less able to brush it off as horrendous stories of child abuse, etc, were coming out. My husband is atheist too so I think his ideas, while not pushed on me in any way, were influential.
I think I moved away from Catholicism in my mind quite some time ago. I still clung to the social institutions of marriage and baptism for my children because I really didn't know what else to do and my family would have been devastated. It took me a lot longer to make the leap away from the idea of God entirely.
I always thought that I was only superficially attached to religion until I admited to myself that I didn't believe in God. I was really affected by the realisation when it came and fell into a depression. I felt crushed under the weight of understanding that death was final, there was no afterlife, no happy ending. I didn't understand what the point of life was and everything seemed really bleak. It sounds very melodramatic writing it down but it's true!
I threw myself into reading philosophy, atheist writers, everything I could. Eventually, I think I accepted what I knew to be true and was able to get to grips with it. The after-effect was a feeling of great liberation. Being atheist feels so much nicer than being religious - it's something I am proud of rather than being a bit embarrased about, which is how I felt about being Catholic.
The problem of my family remains. My Nan, who is like a second Mum to me and 76, is so proud of the fact that I was married in Church and my kids are baptised. She would be beyond horrified if I told her I was atheist. My Mum, although fallen away from the Church herself, still believes all the theology and is very inflexible in her views. So I keep it to myself. Nobody asks me if I go to Church on Sunday and I'm not particularly interested in converting them so I say nothing.
I feel very angry towards religion right now. I feel like it's all been a huge lie and I was being fooled for a long time. I hope I'll be able to process that and move on from it in time
I live in the UK but my family, who all also live here, are all Irish Catholics. My maternal Nan, the family matriarch, and Grandad are (or were, my Grandad died last year) very devout. My Mum was very involved in the Church when I was young and me and my brother were altar servers, in the choir, etc. My Dad went through the motions but to this day I do not know how much he does or doesn't believe it. My large extended family, to whom I am very close, are all Catholics and practicing.
Catholicism has never sat right with me. I looked at what I was told in Church and saw in the Bible and looked at what my education was teaching me in science and history and the two quite obviously did not match. Something had to be wrong. Studying history, which I love, was especially enlightening in terms of the development of the Church as an institution and I realised it had never been The Authority where faith was concerned.
I particularly found some of the moral stances of Catholicism increasingly hard to swallow. The rejection of gay relationships and abortion really sat badly with me and I found myself less and less able to brush it off as horrendous stories of child abuse, etc, were coming out. My husband is atheist too so I think his ideas, while not pushed on me in any way, were influential.
I think I moved away from Catholicism in my mind quite some time ago. I still clung to the social institutions of marriage and baptism for my children because I really didn't know what else to do and my family would have been devastated. It took me a lot longer to make the leap away from the idea of God entirely.
I always thought that I was only superficially attached to religion until I admited to myself that I didn't believe in God. I was really affected by the realisation when it came and fell into a depression. I felt crushed under the weight of understanding that death was final, there was no afterlife, no happy ending. I didn't understand what the point of life was and everything seemed really bleak. It sounds very melodramatic writing it down but it's true!
I threw myself into reading philosophy, atheist writers, everything I could. Eventually, I think I accepted what I knew to be true and was able to get to grips with it. The after-effect was a feeling of great liberation. Being atheist feels so much nicer than being religious - it's something I am proud of rather than being a bit embarrased about, which is how I felt about being Catholic.
The problem of my family remains. My Nan, who is like a second Mum to me and 76, is so proud of the fact that I was married in Church and my kids are baptised. She would be beyond horrified if I told her I was atheist. My Mum, although fallen away from the Church herself, still believes all the theology and is very inflexible in her views. So I keep it to myself. Nobody asks me if I go to Church on Sunday and I'm not particularly interested in converting them so I say nothing.
I feel very angry towards religion right now. I feel like it's all been a huge lie and I was being fooled for a long time. I hope I'll be able to process that and move on from it in time
