Hey guys. Well I am mostly agnostic but leaning towards atheism. I was wondering if anyone here wishes they could believe in something? Because to be honest, the thought of there being NOTHING but this life is VERY depressing to me. As a bipolar person, life sucks hardcore. And to be honest I have had two psychotic breaks in the last couple of years where I met "God." It felt more real than this reality at the time. I was NEVER religious but I did have some form of spirituality before all this happened. I suppose I was a spiritual agnostic. But the point is I was open to there being something more than this crap.
To have something like this happen to you, then to be told it's all in your brain is pretty devastating. Because I've always considered myself a pretty logical person, I can't believe I fell into such a deep delusion for months TWICE. What's funny is the "voice of God" told me I must have "faith." Why? I should have asked it why lol. I never understood why faith was needed to believe in this stuff. Why can't there be solid hardcore evidence? I guess I should know the answers I will get on an atheist forum, but I still wish I could believe what I experienced was more than just a hallucination. I would honestly rather be psychotic and happy, than sane and miserable.
And no I have never believed in the bible. Even when I was a kid I had to roll my eyes at it, but I was still open to there being SOME form of higher power. Now I just look at nature and see a big cruel machine. If there is a God I don't know why it would put me through two psychotic breaks, knowing it would crush what little faith I had. The times I have listened to Christian programming, I have wanted to punch my fist through the radio. I honestly don't know how adults could believe in something so blindly. So much that it affects their behavior. I always agree with the atheists when I watch God debates.
There is still some evidence out there that has me on the fence though. Some near death experience stories are pretty crazy, particularly the ones where the person witnesses things outside their bodies, that are later confirmed by medical staff. But of course as frustrating as it is, it's not enough. Yes I know all about the DMT and dying brain theories.
I know all man made religion is BS, but I am still not leaning towards atheism by choice. I just can't deny science. I don't know how people can turn a blind eye to things so much to try and hold on to something like the bible being true. And to be happy and content with believing the bible to be true, even when being shown evidence that it is BS. I just don't get it. I WISH I could believe in something like that to be honest but it would require me shutting my brain off.
I am just wondering if there are any atheists who wish they could believe in something more? Isn't the thought of being just a mechanical meat machine depressing? I know that's not an excuse to throw out one's brain though, but how do you cope with this belief? I am not sure how to cope with being a cynical bitter skeptic. I just don't see the point in anything. Not even getting out of bed sometimes. I am a tiny speck on a floating ball of dirt leading a meaningless existence. Am I alone in this feeling?
To have something like this happen to you, then to be told it's all in your brain is pretty devastating. Because I've always considered myself a pretty logical person, I can't believe I fell into such a deep delusion for months TWICE. What's funny is the "voice of God" told me I must have "faith." Why? I should have asked it why lol. I never understood why faith was needed to believe in this stuff. Why can't there be solid hardcore evidence? I guess I should know the answers I will get on an atheist forum, but I still wish I could believe what I experienced was more than just a hallucination. I would honestly rather be psychotic and happy, than sane and miserable.
And no I have never believed in the bible. Even when I was a kid I had to roll my eyes at it, but I was still open to there being SOME form of higher power. Now I just look at nature and see a big cruel machine. If there is a God I don't know why it would put me through two psychotic breaks, knowing it would crush what little faith I had. The times I have listened to Christian programming, I have wanted to punch my fist through the radio. I honestly don't know how adults could believe in something so blindly. So much that it affects their behavior. I always agree with the atheists when I watch God debates.
There is still some evidence out there that has me on the fence though. Some near death experience stories are pretty crazy, particularly the ones where the person witnesses things outside their bodies, that are later confirmed by medical staff. But of course as frustrating as it is, it's not enough. Yes I know all about the DMT and dying brain theories.
I know all man made religion is BS, but I am still not leaning towards atheism by choice. I just can't deny science. I don't know how people can turn a blind eye to things so much to try and hold on to something like the bible being true. And to be happy and content with believing the bible to be true, even when being shown evidence that it is BS. I just don't get it. I WISH I could believe in something like that to be honest but it would require me shutting my brain off.
I am just wondering if there are any atheists who wish they could believe in something more? Isn't the thought of being just a mechanical meat machine depressing? I know that's not an excuse to throw out one's brain though, but how do you cope with this belief? I am not sure how to cope with being a cynical bitter skeptic. I just don't see the point in anything. Not even getting out of bed sometimes. I am a tiny speck on a floating ball of dirt leading a meaningless existence. Am I alone in this feeling?
