Bad mornings are bad

[Losty]

So, today I finished the biopsy from my last doctor appointment. (There were supposed to be 3 samples but we only got 2 because of complications).
The results from the first two samples are positive for high risk HPV and suggestive of possible precancerous changes.

So Tuesday we are going to dilate my cervix and do a "scraping biopsy" and then "go from there".

I hate my doctor even though he's always been wonderful I just hate him anyways because he won't look me in the face and give me any straight answers. He keeps insisting we don't really know yet.

I know l look cute and pathetic when I'm upset and scared but that doesn't mean I want you to give me comforting words while avoiding providing any real or useful information. I need to know what's really going on and what's next and what's happening because Tuesday is fucking 6 days away and I don't know if I can survive that long feeling like I'm in the dark about scary shit.

So that's my morning. Sorry for ranting. I haven't told anyone in my family yet so I figured I would vent here.