How do you deal with life now that you are an atheist? (With a little of my life)
August 25, 2016 at 12:12 am
Hi,
I am a 21 year old male who was christian up until I was 19 years old. I used to believe in God, and I believed he helped me multiple times through my life. I also used to pray, and cried multiple times (this became harder to happen as I grew up). So as you can see, I have a religious background. Fortunately, my parents were never too religious. This means I never read the bible except for some verses, and never went to church (though I did quite a few times when I was really young, like 4 or years old).
I always had doubts, and unanswered questions about my religion. But, as many believers do, I used to ignore them, and tell to myself "Those questions must have an answer, but I just do not know them". Fortunately, I have always been a man of science, and I always put science before religion. This was because I used to believe that science was a creation of God, and therefore believing in science does not contradict religion, and if it seems like it does, because of my lack of knowledge. Now that I am an atheist, I have realized that it is impossible to believe in a religion without ignoring its contradictions.
Then, after I graduated from highschool (a highschool oriented to the study of science, extremely time consuming), I decided that I wanted to get a scholarship to another country. And ofcourse, when you want to achieve something, you pray to God. And so I did. And that was the moment when I realized my faith was at zero, and I started to question everything. I tried to pray, but I felt like I was doing nothing. I started asking "Who am I praying to? Does he care? Does he even listen? Is he real? What if christianity is incorrect, and I am praying to a fake god?, etc." So I reached a point in which I NEEDED to answer those questions. Ignoring them was not an option anymore. And I lie you not, this task took me several days, weeks. I started watching debates of Richard Dawkins and other atheists such as Christopher Hitchens. And those debates started me to convince me a lot more. Until, finally, I decided to become an atheist.
It was not easy, as you may know, if you used to have a religion. And this is where the point of the thread comes in.
When I used to be a christian, many existential problems of life were filled by religion. Such as "What happens after you die?". I used to believe in heaven, and I thought that I could meet my parents in the after life, which always gave me comfort. Now that I am atheist, I know this will never happen. Once you die, you are done. And now a hole that was filled with religious beliefs, is now empty, and now I have to start filling it from zero with my own strength. Both my parents are around 50, and my mother has had multiple fractures, and she once had a stroke. She gets sick many times. And this hurts me. It hurts me to know I cant do anything to completely cure her. It hurts me to know she will eventually die, and I will never see her again. Same happens with my dad, but fortunately he has better health.
Another hole that I have to fill now is the vulnerability we have as human beings. When I was younger, I used to believe I was invincible (I believe every young boy thinks this way). But there was another reason for this, I used to believe God was always by my side, protecting me. Now that I am an atheist, I know that nobody is watching my back, except for those who are alive, like my parents. I now know I am not special for the eyes of the universe, and that I may get sick, or I may be murdered, etc. And I always knew this, but then again, I believed God was protecting me.
Now we have death. How do you cope with it now that you are atheist? I particularly never feared death. Maybe until now. I have realized I will die, and there is nothing I can do about it. Maybe in the past, since I believed in God, and in the after life, death was not so bad. But now I know it is an unavoidable faith. That this is our only chance to live. That the pain we feel while we live will remain there forever, and we should try to be happy as much as we can, even though we are just animals and have mental and physical limitations.
So, the question is: How do you face the unavoidable reality of life, with no God by your side?
I am a 21 year old male who was christian up until I was 19 years old. I used to believe in God, and I believed he helped me multiple times through my life. I also used to pray, and cried multiple times (this became harder to happen as I grew up). So as you can see, I have a religious background. Fortunately, my parents were never too religious. This means I never read the bible except for some verses, and never went to church (though I did quite a few times when I was really young, like 4 or years old).
I always had doubts, and unanswered questions about my religion. But, as many believers do, I used to ignore them, and tell to myself "Those questions must have an answer, but I just do not know them". Fortunately, I have always been a man of science, and I always put science before religion. This was because I used to believe that science was a creation of God, and therefore believing in science does not contradict religion, and if it seems like it does, because of my lack of knowledge. Now that I am an atheist, I have realized that it is impossible to believe in a religion without ignoring its contradictions.
Then, after I graduated from highschool (a highschool oriented to the study of science, extremely time consuming), I decided that I wanted to get a scholarship to another country. And ofcourse, when you want to achieve something, you pray to God. And so I did. And that was the moment when I realized my faith was at zero, and I started to question everything. I tried to pray, but I felt like I was doing nothing. I started asking "Who am I praying to? Does he care? Does he even listen? Is he real? What if christianity is incorrect, and I am praying to a fake god?, etc." So I reached a point in which I NEEDED to answer those questions. Ignoring them was not an option anymore. And I lie you not, this task took me several days, weeks. I started watching debates of Richard Dawkins and other atheists such as Christopher Hitchens. And those debates started me to convince me a lot more. Until, finally, I decided to become an atheist.
It was not easy, as you may know, if you used to have a religion. And this is where the point of the thread comes in.
When I used to be a christian, many existential problems of life were filled by religion. Such as "What happens after you die?". I used to believe in heaven, and I thought that I could meet my parents in the after life, which always gave me comfort. Now that I am atheist, I know this will never happen. Once you die, you are done. And now a hole that was filled with religious beliefs, is now empty, and now I have to start filling it from zero with my own strength. Both my parents are around 50, and my mother has had multiple fractures, and she once had a stroke. She gets sick many times. And this hurts me. It hurts me to know I cant do anything to completely cure her. It hurts me to know she will eventually die, and I will never see her again. Same happens with my dad, but fortunately he has better health.
Another hole that I have to fill now is the vulnerability we have as human beings. When I was younger, I used to believe I was invincible (I believe every young boy thinks this way). But there was another reason for this, I used to believe God was always by my side, protecting me. Now that I am an atheist, I know that nobody is watching my back, except for those who are alive, like my parents. I now know I am not special for the eyes of the universe, and that I may get sick, or I may be murdered, etc. And I always knew this, but then again, I believed God was protecting me.
Now we have death. How do you cope with it now that you are atheist? I particularly never feared death. Maybe until now. I have realized I will die, and there is nothing I can do about it. Maybe in the past, since I believed in God, and in the after life, death was not so bad. But now I know it is an unavoidable faith. That this is our only chance to live. That the pain we feel while we live will remain there forever, and we should try to be happy as much as we can, even though we are just animals and have mental and physical limitations.
So, the question is: How do you face the unavoidable reality of life, with no God by your side?
