I am God

[CleanShavenJesus]

What? There is zero logic in that sentence. Because I read the Bible and look at God as a sick fuck who totally killed millions of people with a flood (just one example), suddenly I'm the one fucked up in the head? I'm just interpeting the Bible the way it's written.

Your logic is more backwards than jstrodel's.

Nope, you're either an idiot or a liar. I tend to think most are just idiots, but since you said this not more that a few minutes ago and are now denying it, I gotta stop giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Every Christian, atheist, Muslim, and Jew on planet Earth has God conform to what they want God to do

So either you have god conform to what you want or you just "interpret" it the way it's written. Either way, you asserted 2 conflicting beliefs and as such are either an idiot or a liar. (I'm sorry for implying you were a liar, you seem more like an idiot now)
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Alright, let me break this down for you.

Christians try their best to see God in a good light. They believe in God. They want to worship him. Any "bad" thing God does in the Bible, they make an excuse for it.

Jews do the same, for the Torah.

Muslims may not do the same for the Bible, but they certainly do the same for the Quoran.

Atheists (not branding all atheists here, because if I've learned one thing, it's not to do that) read the Bible the way it's written. When I read the story of Noah's Flood, and I read that God floods the Earth and every human is murdered aside from Noah, I sit there and say, "Man, that God is a sick fuck."

So, no, catfish, I am not controdicting myself, I'm not an idiot, and I'm not lying. You just continue to demonstrate your 3rd grade reading level in every topic you post in.