The Shoeaholic thread

[NoraBrimstone]

This is a bit off topic for the direction the thread has taken but I thought I would relate the following story:

One Sunday a couple of years ago we are sitting in the living room. My wife is reading the paper and I am on-line. She says, suddenly and out of the blue:

"A woman my age has a right to 36 pairs of shoes."

I didn't quite know what to do with that information and all I said was:

"OK, fine darling, but you have a lot more than 36 pairs."

Suddenly she is standing beside me all red in the face with a how-dare-you look.

"What?"

"I do not have more than 36 pairs."

"Are you insane? You have at least 75 pairs."

Now the reaction was akin to "I've slept with your sister," or something similar, so eventually I said we'd count them.

Now I should explain that I have the advantage in knowing how many shoes she has as I built her a cupboard to house them (called Imelda). Its 2 meters high and has 10 shelves, all different heights for the various heels, half boots, knee length's and so on. Each shelf holds 6 pairs. Its full. On the door are photographs of the contents of each shelf so its easy for her to find them and put them back in the right place.

There are also several overflows which she didn't think I knew about.

Anyway - we counted.

103 pairs.

She was somewhat shocked and very embarrassed. She didn't buy any shoes for weeks after that.

WHY? I don't understand why some women think they need so many shoes. You can only wear one pair at a time ffs. She could donate the shoes she doesn't need to a charity shop or something and help people. I just don't get it. I mean, 103 pairs of shoes? Most of them must look more or less the fucking same, right? There are only so many colours and styles of shoes.

This is why I have no girly-girl friends. The materialism makes me want to set them on fire.

</rant>

(Said the lady with like a bajillion books)