(June 4, 2018 at 11:35 am)Jörmungandr Wrote:(June 4, 2018 at 11:17 am)Shell B Wrote: You know, Tibs and I were talking about this and he said there's a lot of victim blaming. I was like, "Come on. I'm not a victim. It's not a big deal." Then we talked about it, and I thought about it like this. Would you tell a woman who just got punched in the face by her abusive husband after calling him an asshole that "He shouldn't have done that, but you should have been nicer to him, since you know he has anger issues."? Now, I 100% realize it's an inflated analogy. Ham didn't hit anyone here, but the principal stands. You think everyone should be nicer to him so he won't fly off the handle because he has issues. It's not that you think he's a nice guy that's a problem. I don't think he's a bad person, either. It's the "but" you put at the end of "He shouldn't do that." that rankles. No buts, dude. No buts. There are things I shouldn't do. I shouldn't do them. Period.
Perhaps it's an 'and' rather than a 'but'? Are you sure you're not putting words in people's mouths?
It could be an and. I will grant you that. It doesn't seem like it all around, though. Since I'm generally speaking about the people who are talking about provocation in this thread, it really may not apply to Catholic Lady. However, I did see several times, here and in Slack, where LfC said she thought I was picking a fight with Hammy in that thread, even acknowledging that she didn't read the other thread where it stemmed from.
As for the "you should be nice to people who are mentally ill because being an asshole who flies off the handle is totally a symptom," that's CL. Sorry, lady. You know I like and respect you. I just think it's stigmatizing and NAMI agrees with me. You should read up on the stigma-free campaigns.