So I am currently facing a tough decision in life. I think I need to preface this with a little backstory. To save from a TL;DR I will give a cliff's notes version.
I grew up in a terribly abusive home. My mother was diagnosed with MS when I was 5 and was wheelchair bound and in and out of hospitals. After we told my mother about the abuse she moved us in with our grandparents when I was 8. Two weeks before my ninth birthday she died on our back porch in front of us all. Because MS does not move that rapidly an autopsy was done and the coroner found high levels of arsenic. I remember my step father always preparing our dinners. He worked with arsenic as part of his job. His brother was a cop. Long story short he was never convicted of any charges (not even the abuse) because I was too terrified to take the stand.
I received a call yesterday that my mothers homicide case is being reopened and they want my testimony. This was 26 years ago. My dilemma here is I have moved on. I actually faced this man later in my life and got my personal closure and my life has moved on. For my other family members they still demand justice. I don't know if I really want to rehash all of that and relive it again. It cost me years of therapy and night terrors. I don't know if I want to comply and offer it up for my family members chance at justice (not guaranteed) and at what personal expense? I know you guys don't know me aside from posts here and there but I'm I off base with not wanting to do this? I may risk my family members being very hurt. I've tried explaining my position but they think I'm being selfish. I'm not sure.
I grew up in a terribly abusive home. My mother was diagnosed with MS when I was 5 and was wheelchair bound and in and out of hospitals. After we told my mother about the abuse she moved us in with our grandparents when I was 8. Two weeks before my ninth birthday she died on our back porch in front of us all. Because MS does not move that rapidly an autopsy was done and the coroner found high levels of arsenic. I remember my step father always preparing our dinners. He worked with arsenic as part of his job. His brother was a cop. Long story short he was never convicted of any charges (not even the abuse) because I was too terrified to take the stand.
I received a call yesterday that my mothers homicide case is being reopened and they want my testimony. This was 26 years ago. My dilemma here is I have moved on. I actually faced this man later in my life and got my personal closure and my life has moved on. For my other family members they still demand justice. I don't know if I really want to rehash all of that and relive it again. It cost me years of therapy and night terrors. I don't know if I want to comply and offer it up for my family members chance at justice (not guaranteed) and at what personal expense? I know you guys don't know me aside from posts here and there but I'm I off base with not wanting to do this? I may risk my family members being very hurt. I've tried explaining my position but they think I'm being selfish. I'm not sure.
We are not made happy by what we acquire but by what we appreciate.
