@In This Mind:
At risk of having my head bitten off, it seems to me that you are emotionally upset by the subject of rape and the way defense attorneys attempt to shift a measure of the blame onto the victim (and therefore, off of the rapist)... and I can't blame you. I don't believe that anyone here has claimed, or even insinuated, that a rape victim holds any of the blame for the rape itself. I believe that you are so ready to defend against that claim/insinuation that you are going out of your way to find it. The problem is that you are only 'finding' it by imagining meanings that were not intended and by putting words into people's mouths. Completely altering a statement ("by this, you said this") can change that statement's intended meaning entirely. It is intellectually dishonest at best and only ends up sounding hysterical.
Hypothetically, let's say that you and I know each other socially and, on Saturday night, I go out to the club for a bit of fun and sit at a table with a group of 'club friends'.. I have a few drinks, watch a few people dance (I don't dance), and have a good time with my 'club friends'. One of those 'club friends' happens to be you. Now, at the end of the evening, as we are all getting ready to leave, myself and a couple of other people offer a ride home to anyone that needs one (drank too much, whatever).
You say, "No thanks, I only live two blocks from here. I'll walk."
'Cindy' says, "You sure? I'm dropping Christina and Kelly off at their place. You really shouldn't walk alone this late."
You say, "Nah. I could use the fresh air."
So we all go our separate ways. You walk home alone... and less than a block from home, a man grabs you and pulls you behind a dumpster. You are raped.
Cindy and Christina and Kelly all made it home safely, but now Cindy experiences guilt for not insisting you ride with her. When she sees you next, she expresses her sorrow for what happened to you and says that she wishes she wouldn't have let you walk home alone.
You go into hysterics and accuse her of blaming you? I'd bet not. She offered you the opportunity to avoid the risk that walking home alone presents and you chose to walk home alone. So, whose fault is the rape? The rapist's, of course! If you would have taken that offered ride, you probably would have been safe... but the rapist would have simply grabbed a different woman walking home alone and putting herself at risk. And that rape will not have been her fault, even though she could have avoided the risk.
The Moral of the Story: Offering you advice on how to minimize the risk of being raped is not the same thing as blaming you if the rape occurs. In my opinion, you are way out of line in this thread.
At risk of having my head bitten off, it seems to me that you are emotionally upset by the subject of rape and the way defense attorneys attempt to shift a measure of the blame onto the victim (and therefore, off of the rapist)... and I can't blame you. I don't believe that anyone here has claimed, or even insinuated, that a rape victim holds any of the blame for the rape itself. I believe that you are so ready to defend against that claim/insinuation that you are going out of your way to find it. The problem is that you are only 'finding' it by imagining meanings that were not intended and by putting words into people's mouths. Completely altering a statement ("by this, you said this") can change that statement's intended meaning entirely. It is intellectually dishonest at best and only ends up sounding hysterical.
Hypothetically, let's say that you and I know each other socially and, on Saturday night, I go out to the club for a bit of fun and sit at a table with a group of 'club friends'.. I have a few drinks, watch a few people dance (I don't dance), and have a good time with my 'club friends'. One of those 'club friends' happens to be you. Now, at the end of the evening, as we are all getting ready to leave, myself and a couple of other people offer a ride home to anyone that needs one (drank too much, whatever).
You say, "No thanks, I only live two blocks from here. I'll walk."
'Cindy' says, "You sure? I'm dropping Christina and Kelly off at their place. You really shouldn't walk alone this late."
You say, "Nah. I could use the fresh air."
So we all go our separate ways. You walk home alone... and less than a block from home, a man grabs you and pulls you behind a dumpster. You are raped.
Cindy and Christina and Kelly all made it home safely, but now Cindy experiences guilt for not insisting you ride with her. When she sees you next, she expresses her sorrow for what happened to you and says that she wishes she wouldn't have let you walk home alone.
You go into hysterics and accuse her of blaming you? I'd bet not. She offered you the opportunity to avoid the risk that walking home alone presents and you chose to walk home alone. So, whose fault is the rape? The rapist's, of course! If you would have taken that offered ride, you probably would have been safe... but the rapist would have simply grabbed a different woman walking home alone and putting herself at risk. And that rape will not have been her fault, even though she could have avoided the risk.
The Moral of the Story: Offering you advice on how to minimize the risk of being raped is not the same thing as blaming you if the rape occurs. In my opinion, you are way out of line in this thread.
