I lost my heart today.

[Mudhammam]

Today is a very sad day for me. A while back, I made this post about a person very dear to me, whom I called "Lucas." A couple of weeks ago he was hospitalized because he was having trouble breathing. It turned out that he had pneumonia, and was put on a ventilator. He seemed to be getting better after a few nights and they sent him home. A couple of days later, the same thing occurred. This time while in the hospital he went into cardiac arrest and his parents were less optimistic. As I explained in the past post, his life expectancy with the disease he has isn't great. However, things took a turn for the better, and once again, and he was taken off the ventilator. This was on Monday. Everyone thought he would be coming home by the end of the week. His sister, who is a nurse, believed he had a good 2 years left.

Well, last night I received a phone call around 4:30 am from his sister, saying that he had choked again and things weren't looking good. I contacted his dad about three hours ago, and was told that he had entered hospice care and wouldn't make it through the night. I was at school, about to go to class, so I told my teacher that after the test I would have to leave. I got to the hospital... It was horrible. His mother, father, his two older sisters, and his best friend Justin were gathered around his bedside, in tears. Two minutes after I sat down and they told him "Sean is here," he died. His sister said he had been waiting for me. As I said before, he is like my little brother. There are no words. He was only 20 years old... so I never did get to take him to that titty bar. 

I just got home about 45 minutes ago, and I can't really wrap my head around this yet. Before the first hospitalization, everything seemed relatively fine... just.. fucking sucks.

Rest in peace my friend.