(December 7, 2016 at 1:00 pm)AkiraTheFighter24 Wrote:(December 7, 2016 at 12:33 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: What are the thoughts in your head?
Oh nothing big just that I'm a failure. I can't keep a job much less find one. I can't provide for myself. I'm a burden on my mom. Nobody cares about me, I'll never amount to anything. I always over react to things. The only use I am to people is being a steeping stone for their success. There's other stuff as well I just can't remember at this point. Which is another thing I have to deal with. My crappy mind and body that just so weak and stupid. *sigh* I always overthink things, things that could happen, things that already happen. It's always a chore to get myself to realize it's not gonna happen. I'm so fed up of fighting it.
I've been through long unemployment and reliance on others myself. I don't know you hardly at all -- we don't interact much here and therefore any words I might say are cheap, easily-said -- but if I had to say anything, I'd say "take action", attack the deficiencies you feel about yourself in the priority you've assigned them. The action you take may not be big, or successful, but I've found that for myself, the simple act of taking action helps me feel better about myself for making the effort.
And -- it's been my experience that "I can't" too often turns into "I never did". Don't bite on that hook.
I understand feeling like you're a burden to family, but it seems to me to contradict your thought that "Nobody cares about me." If your mother shoulders the burden, is that not evidence of her caring?
I wish I had something more to offer you than easy words, but I don't. But hopefully you can get at least something from this reply.
TL/DR: Move against the things making you unhappy -- take positive action even if it's unlikely to succeed; don't down on yourself for not living up to your own goals or self-image (because many of us suffer that too); and if you must feel indebted to your mom (like many of us), resolve to pay off that debt moving forward with determination.
Life ain't easy, not nearly as easy as these words. I hope the best for you.