I was born into a Mennonite home. My parents were missionaries and we were very religious. Early, I "felt the call" and desired to be "sanctified." While other kids played, I sought sanctification. I was 11.
At 12, probably from this madness, I developed anorexia. It was complicated by my religiosity. I was treatment resistant because "God would heal me." My parents agreed and instead of getting me back to the states for care, they let it go. Well, He didn't heal me. By the times I did get state side, it was too late....I became disabled. Score one for Reason.
At 17 I was still sick with eating disorders yet had not let go of God. It was my fault, lack of faith etc. During this time I met another Christian man who had been Jewish. He was a convert and he was 35.
I married him at 18 and for the first time in my life I was no longer afraid of Hell- because I was in it. There are no words to explain the horrors I endured, some in the name of religion as he was prominent in the church. I won't bother, but if you have ever been abused by a priest etc., I need not explain.
I turned from God but found I could not get my mind free of the patterns that had been hammered into me. I would still pray, but it was more blasphemy (no guilt by this time). But I could not get free.
I was in a pathological relationship and God was the stalker.
I tried the Catholics because it was so hard to get it out of my head. When the RCIA director heard I had been abused by a religious figure and it would be hard for me to be around a lot of people in the big Sunday mass, she said, "Well, why do you want to be Catholic?!" (Only 15% of Catholics go to Big Mass!)
Then I tried a few other religions.....Jewish, Islam..and none of it made any sense. I practiced Buddhism for a while because it helped psychologically, but rejected all religious issues. Then the group started a weird chant and I said forget it.
I am older now, almost 50 and it has been a life of hell. When you are a survivor you find other survivors who also disprove God.
I have watched my friends who suffer and pray just keep suffering. One committed suicide, his last words "Jesus you know why I am doing this." Another gave up a kidney (he is on dialysis) because "God would heal" him. (He is still on dialysis) I have seen more religious people kill themselves than atheists. Almost 7.
I still cannot get God out of my head, and I have heard this theme on atheist forums a lot. It's like brain damage and why should it not be? To tell a child to believe in a thing that is supposed to make everything right, to tell them he is in you, around you........It's madness.
My sister also became an atheist and is active in atheist rights. My two brothers did not and one preaches. But they don't judge me. They think it has to do with my mental health issues, but I think they are the crazy ones for looking to the air for answers and ignoring truth.
I would warn anyone to stay far away from religion. If you are the least bit sensitive and if life hits you hard, you will live in more hell than they ever created to scare people at the council of Nicea.
Bart Erhman is right. Suffering is God's problem all right because there is nothing else that disproves an "All powerful, all loving God" than suffering. It trumps God every single time.
At 12, probably from this madness, I developed anorexia. It was complicated by my religiosity. I was treatment resistant because "God would heal me." My parents agreed and instead of getting me back to the states for care, they let it go. Well, He didn't heal me. By the times I did get state side, it was too late....I became disabled. Score one for Reason.
At 17 I was still sick with eating disorders yet had not let go of God. It was my fault, lack of faith etc. During this time I met another Christian man who had been Jewish. He was a convert and he was 35.
I married him at 18 and for the first time in my life I was no longer afraid of Hell- because I was in it. There are no words to explain the horrors I endured, some in the name of religion as he was prominent in the church. I won't bother, but if you have ever been abused by a priest etc., I need not explain.
I turned from God but found I could not get my mind free of the patterns that had been hammered into me. I would still pray, but it was more blasphemy (no guilt by this time). But I could not get free.
I was in a pathological relationship and God was the stalker.
I tried the Catholics because it was so hard to get it out of my head. When the RCIA director heard I had been abused by a religious figure and it would be hard for me to be around a lot of people in the big Sunday mass, she said, "Well, why do you want to be Catholic?!" (Only 15% of Catholics go to Big Mass!)
Then I tried a few other religions.....Jewish, Islam..and none of it made any sense. I practiced Buddhism for a while because it helped psychologically, but rejected all religious issues. Then the group started a weird chant and I said forget it.
I am older now, almost 50 and it has been a life of hell. When you are a survivor you find other survivors who also disprove God.
I have watched my friends who suffer and pray just keep suffering. One committed suicide, his last words "Jesus you know why I am doing this." Another gave up a kidney (he is on dialysis) because "God would heal" him. (He is still on dialysis) I have seen more religious people kill themselves than atheists. Almost 7.
I still cannot get God out of my head, and I have heard this theme on atheist forums a lot. It's like brain damage and why should it not be? To tell a child to believe in a thing that is supposed to make everything right, to tell them he is in you, around you........It's madness.
My sister also became an atheist and is active in atheist rights. My two brothers did not and one preaches. But they don't judge me. They think it has to do with my mental health issues, but I think they are the crazy ones for looking to the air for answers and ignoring truth.
I would warn anyone to stay far away from religion. If you are the least bit sensitive and if life hits you hard, you will live in more hell than they ever created to scare people at the council of Nicea.
Bart Erhman is right. Suffering is God's problem all right because there is nothing else that disproves an "All powerful, all loving God" than suffering. It trumps God every single time.
