How do you make the door to door religious people go away?

[TaraJo]

This is a regular problem with me. I like to sleep in on weekends, but there's one problem: the door to door preachers. They always think they need to show up at my door, early on a Sunday or the occasional Saturday, and tell me about Jesus (because, obviously, nobody who lives in the middle of Texas would have ever heard of Jesus ). It was a minor annoyance at first, but now that it's happening every week, it's really starting to piss me off. Worse yet, they're from several different churches, so if I tell them not to come here anymore, their individual church might not stop by, but people from 10 others still will. About an hour ago I had another come by and hand me a phamplet; I promptly crumpled it up, threw it in the trash next to my door, told him Jesus is imaginary and not to come back. Thing is, I have a feeling I'm going to do the same thing tomorrow.

So, I want a way to do one of two things. Preferably they would just leave me alone and stop knocking on my door. Just asking/telling them not to come back doesn't seem to work, so I'm going to have to do something a bit more 'involved' if I really want it to stick. The other option is to find a way to have some fun with them. Maybe I could point out all the nasty Bible verses they don't know jack about, but I dunno how well that would really work.

Any suggestions on dealing with them?

[Polaris]

So they're not just a myth?

Advise. Put a sign up saying "No Solicitations". If that does not work, put up a sign saying "Religious Folk. Leave Me Alone."

[Jackalope]

You could take the passive approach and put up "No Soliciting" and "No Trespassing" signs.

...or, if you prefer the more direct approach, you could get one of these:



...or perhaps one of these...



...or a pack of these...



With the latter, it's important to not feed them until after the door-to-door proselytizers leave. A nice treat and a "good doggie" helps reinforce the desired behavior.

[Ryantology]

I'm never bothered by any. I think the last time I was accosted by God's Salesmen (mormons, in this case), I was in a parking lot loading groceries, five years ago perhaps. It was sleeting and miserable. I told them I was a satanist. They had a sense of humor about it.

[5thHorseman]

every week!!!!!! I've only had 2 in 15ish years. Both times Jehovah's witnesses, but the second time was whilst walking to college about 6 months ago.

Every week, just say 'im not interested' and close the door.

[LastPoet]

Hmmm, I answered a couple of JW's in boxer shorts one of these days, and made a famous catcall of mine (that I'm forbidden of uttering in this forum, by our queen ).

After that, it was quite peacefull around here

[Kayenneh]

Belonging to an organization is like having a penis. You can be proud of it but don't

a) wave it around in public
b) engage us in conversations about it
c) shove it through our mail slot

Thank you!

We had a lot of door knockers (not only religious ones, mind). When I put this sign up, all the advertisement and preachers left us alone

If that doesn't work, try this:

---

---

[pocaracas]

Put one of these on your front door:


Then they can't ask you if you want to get to know J.C.. Plus, if they're just a little knowledgeable, they'll identify that as the cross of pope john paul II, and ID you as catholic..... they'll never bother you again.
Catholics are nutjobs and you just can't convince them to switch allegiances.

[jots]

Door to door preachers are quite rare around where I live. Sometimes some Jehovas Witnesses will show up, asking if they may "speak to me about the bible"

If I´m in the mood for it I invite them in, treat them to a cup of tea and point out the many benefits in being an atheist, including not having to go door to door trying to convert people .

When I was younger and lived at my parents house, my mom had a different, more "direct" approach to JW´s. She used to tell them that they had exactly 10 seconds to get off her property before she would smash their skulls with a frying pan...

[genkaus]

This is a regular problem with me. I like to sleep in on weekends, but there's one problem: the door to door preachers. They always think they need to show up at my door, early on a Sunday or the occasional Saturday, and tell me about Jesus (because, obviously, nobody who lives in the middle of Texas would have ever heard of Jesus ). It was a minor annoyance at first, but now that it's happening every week, it's really starting to piss me off. Worse yet, they're from several different churches, so if I tell them not to come here anymore, their individual church might not stop by, but people from 10 others still will. About an hour ago I had another come by and hand me a phamplet; I promptly crumpled it up, threw it in the trash next to my door, told him Jesus is imaginary and not to come back. Thing is, I have a feeling I'm going to do the same thing tomorrow.

So, I want a way to do one of two things. Preferably they would just leave me alone and stop knocking on my door. Just asking/telling them not to come back doesn't seem to work, so I'm going to have to do something a bit more 'involved' if I really want it to stick. The other option is to find a way to have some fun with them. Maybe I could point out all the nasty Bible verses they don't know jack about, but I dunno how well that would really work.

Any suggestions on dealing with them?

Put up a sign saying "Beware of dog. Trained to attack Christians."