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Thick, delicious irony
April 4, 2013 at 11:34 pm
(This post was last modified: April 5, 2013 at 12:35 am by Cyberman.)
Some of the more discerning of you may have spotted the distinct lack of Stimbo around here in recent days. Basically, I've been helping and supporting my great (and hopefully soon greater) friend Shell through some particularly troubled waters, not to mention vice versa, via the medium of DIY and applied karaoke. It's a long story.
Anyway, earlier this afternoon we found ourselves in a second-hand furniture/household goods store, run by a Christian charity. All well and good; they help the local community and provided they don't try to shove the bible down people's throats, which they don't, then fair play to them I say.
Among the few items of religious decor they do have is one of those incredibly tedious wartime "Keep Calm And..." metal posters that have been popping up like toenail fungus all over the place in recent years (the best example I've ever seen was on a baby-changing mat - "Keep Calm And Change My Bum"). This one, inevitably, read "Keep Calm And Trust God". As inherently trite and banal as it is, it might perhaps have seemed a mite more convincing, if not for it being sited next to a notice informing customers that "These premises are protected by CCTV" etc etc. I suspect that my lolling was behind Shell's decision to escort me from the premises.
Any other examples of unwitting irony out there?
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 12:19 am
Thick? Delicious? Where?! Oh... just irony and godly stuff. Bummer. 
Let's see..
I went to Ensenada, Mexico and got on a boat ride. Dude wouldn't start until he made a quick prayer... just before he handed us our life jacket. I guess in case God was in the restroom.
Wait, there's more.
Turns out we're pretty darn far from shore when the round thingy that you drive the boat with (don't judge, I don't know the term) broke. People start praying some more while the dude calls for help. Waves are throwing us from side to side, animals swimming around, people crying, me thinking I shoulda had more "nastiness" (sorry, I had to put that in there, wrong forum) and an hour later help arrives. Dude on the other boat goes through hell (yeah hell) to help us get to shore. We couldn't hop on to his boat due to the waves. We get to shore and people thank God for the help. Helper guy, too.
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 12:54 am
(April 5, 2013 at 12:19 am)jrsm_10 Wrote: Thick? Delicious? Where?! Oh... just irony and godly stuff. Bummer.
I was trying to work in a "creamy" as well, but then I figured you naughty lot are even worse than I am for a single entendre.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 12:58 am
Moist. Tight. "Nastiness". 
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked
"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 1:11 am
I'll never be able to get to sleep now...
With any luck.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 2:10 am
I held a small concert to the ladies in my lodge and they enjoyed it. One came up to me and said that my "talent is a gift from God!". Before I could check myself I said: "No, many hours of practice and an aptitude for music." 
When I was young, there was a god with infinite power protecting me. Is there anyone else who felt that way? And was sure about it? but the first time I fell in love, I was thrown down - or maybe I broke free - and I bade farewell to God and became human. Now I don't have God's protection, and I walk on the ground without wings, but I don't regret this hardship. I want to live as a person. -Arina Tanemura
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 10:00 am
A lot of people like to use the expression "god willing" and then something about the future, usually about overcoming some obstacle.
I always reply with: and if he's not willing, then we'll just have to work hard for it. (in my language, I have to use the 'he', when referring to god, there's no 'it')
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 11:21 am
(April 4, 2013 at 11:34 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Among the few items of religious decor they do have is one of those incredibly tedious wartime "Keep Calm And..." metal posters that have been popping up like toenail fungus
...
And thus the origin of Douglas Adams', Don't Panic. You learn the strangest things here.
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 11:43 am
(April 5, 2013 at 2:10 am)Kayenneh Wrote: ...One came up to me and said that my "talent is a gift from God!". Before I could check myself I said: "No, many hours of practice and an aptitude for music." Or like some members of my family who said I could draw because I'm distantly related to Walt Disney. As if I must have got it from some place because I certainly couldn't have learned to do it on my own (sarcasm).
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RE: Thick, delicious irony
April 5, 2013 at 2:56 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22044793
Quote:US retailer Target has apologised for labelling a plus-sized dress after a rotund marine mammal.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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