Most Retarded Thing You've Heard From Priest/Preacher

[Rahul]

Ok, this might be fun. Everyone chime in with the most retarded thing you've ever heard a preacher or priest say.

I'll start.

"Scientists have compared the DNA of humans and dirt and found out that it was so close it was almost scary!"

I heard in person in a tiny east Texas baptist church.

[Savannahw]

If I quite going to church and didn't start caring what other people, think I would end up working at a gas station for the rest of my life.

[Tonus]

I don't remember the year/issue, but there was a Watchtower magazine where they were trying to explain how god could see the future, yet be blindsided by man's actions. They compared god's ability to see the future to the muscles of a very strong man. Even when he wasn't using his muscles, he was still a strong man. He just wasn't using them at that moment. Thus, god could see into the future, but it was an ability he didn't always use.

It is the first time that I can recall where I took exception to a teaching. I don't know if it started me on the road to atheism, but I think it was the first chink in the armor of religion for me. It's just incomprehensible that something that ridiculous got past an editor.

[Jackalope]

I don't remember the year/issue, but there was a Watchtower magazine where they were trying to explain how god could see the future, yet be blindsided by man's actions. They compared god's ability to see the future to the muscles of a very strong man. Even when he wasn't using his muscles, he was still a strong man. He just wasn't using them at that moment. Thus, god could see into the future, but it was an ability he didn't always use.

So, according to the Watchtower, we can add "reckless" to god's claimed attributes?

[CleanShavenJesus]

I think one time he called Jews hypocrites.

Actually, he was quoting the book of Matthew.

[Something completely different]

When I was 7 and went to school in rural, backwards, racist, catholic Austria. My "religion" teacher was the local catholic priest.
In this case he didnt say something but it was the way he reacted that made me remember it.
He use to do lessons by showing pictures of events that take place in the new testament.
Those ere really old and the colors had started to change - with the skincolor changing to dark brown.

At one point a kid asked "Was Jesus a nigger" (and yes! believe it or not, even today almoust every single person in rural conservative Austria and southern Germany says "Nigger")

The priest reacted by repeatedly slapping the 7 year olds face, grabbing him at the ear and pulling the child, who was screaming in pain, out of the class on that ear.

[Rev. Rye]

At one point a kid asked "Was Jesus a nigger" (and yes! believe it or not, even today almoust every single person in rural conservative Austria and southern Germany says "Nigger")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwOq8zB-ido

Well, in reality, there's been a study of what Jesus looked like, and the fact is that, not only is he not black, he looks so much like Tuco from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly that it's not even funny.



Tuco Ramirez, Brother of Brother Ramirez, and Son of God.

On the topic, I've heard this phrase attributed to none other than Fred Phelps: "George Bush worships Mr. Peanut, whose name is the great god goober."

[ideologue08]

Tuco Ramirez, Brother of Brother Ramirez, and Son of God.

On the topic, I've heard this phrase attributed to none other than Fred Phelps: "George Bush worships Mr. Peanut, whose name is the great god goober."

Kinda looks like Miller lol

[Walking Void]

"What child?"

[Dena]

Babies cry for no reason at all and therefore, it's proof of their sinfulness. They are liars.