A deconvert from ISLAM!

[deceptive_illusion]

hi everyone,
I am very glad to have found these forums, finally a place where I can clearly express my thoughts.
I come from a moderately conservative household and I live in Pakistan along with my parents and siblings, all of whom are Muslims. About, 3-4 years ago when i was about 15 I started to have doubts in my mind over the reality of god and his absolute power, overtime these doubts which are still to this day unresolved, and a book "THE GRAND DESIGN" led me to become a deist first and then an atheist.
Now, after my de-conversion I feel so lightened and contended for being honest to myself and facing the truth, that no matter how harsh or cold it is, I want to face it, because it's the reality!
However, a fundamental problem still remains. it's very difficult for me to contain my thoughts and to pretend to be a Muslim. I feel so frustrated sometimes, that i just want to come up clean but, I can't because of the utterly hostile response that I'll get from my community.
F.Y.I
half of the people here firmly believe that punishment for abandoning islamic beliefs is death!

[Something completely different]

As far as I know this forum only had one member until now who lived in a country in which leaving his religion (Islam) was a crime, he is Iraqi and I havent seen any posts by him in a while.

Must be horrible living under such draconian laws, how do you coop with it.



And of course: Welcome

[deceptive_illusion]

As far as I know this forum only had one member until now who lived in a country in which leaving his religion (Islam) was a crime, he is Iraqi and I havent seen any posts by him in a while.

Must be horrible living under such draconian laws, how do you coop with it.



And of course: Welcome

haha it's not like it's a civil crime by law here, just that such a declaration if made public, is very much frowned upon by the general community, and you'll most likely be alienated by majority of your friends. Also, in worst cases if militant groups and extremist clerics hear about your conversion, there will be a hefty reward for your head! So, although its not a legal crime here, it's still very dangerous.

[Faith No More]

I'm sure it sucks pretending to be Muslim, but just keep telling yourself that it sucks less than getting killed for being an atheist.

[Savannahw]

Hello and welcome!

[Darwinian]

How many more are there like you I wonder? Hope you have some fun here

[Zarith]

Hi and welcome. Much respect for anybody who deconverts in circumstances like yours. There's nothing wrong with you concealing your beliefs in this case. Be safe.

[Nine]

Welcome!

[Something completely different]

Have you ever considered leaving Pakistan?

[wwjs]

Welcome. Remember to clear browsing history every time you visit this or any other website that has name "atheist" in it. Keep in mind that you're no the only atheist in your country and that maybe even some of your friends are closeted just like you (but I wouldn't recommend asking them ). If you want to get something off your chest then feel free to do so here. Again, welcome and good luck.