Posts: 4940
Threads: 99
Joined: April 17, 2011
Reputation:
45
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 28, 2013 at 9:00 am
You really need to be open about it with your boyfriend if you expect the relationship to go anywhere. I understand the freaking out part, my wife freaked out when I told her that I didn't believe any more. Telling him might end the relationship depending on how strongly he believes, and if he buys into that "unevenly yoked" nonsense, but if that happens then it wasn't meant to be. It's up to your boyfriend to come to terms with whether he can accept your faithlessness, and if your other qualities are good enough to keep you as a girlfriend.
That's one reason I hate religion, because it divides people.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Posts: 501
Threads: 7
Joined: June 3, 2013
Reputation:
13
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 28, 2013 at 10:09 am
Hello and Welcome. Have a cookie. 
I'd talk to your boyfriend, if you want to relationship to progress. However, you know your family better than we do. I will wait awhile to tell mine, because some will probably disown me. I'd judge that situation on how you see best.
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation:
92
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 28, 2013 at 10:53 am
(This post was last modified: June 28, 2013 at 10:53 am by Faith No More.)
(June 28, 2013 at 1:12 am)wower032 Wrote: Also, should I ever tell my parents? They are Christians, don't go to church to often but definitely very Christian. They drag me to church sometimes and I HATE it, literally can't stand it. Any thoughts on this? Im afriad it willl break my parents heart.
As said before, if you are dependent upon your parents for resources, I would wait to to tell them, unless you feel it won't be an issue.
My parents went to church every day like clockwork, but we never, ever discussed god or religion. There were no religious symbols or anything in our house, except for a copy of the bible tucked neatly away on a bookshelf, and they never once told me that they believed in god or that I should believe in god. They just took me to church; That's it. So, on our way to church one Sunday when I was 15, I spoke up and told them that I didn't believe in god, and I didn't think I should be made to got to church anymore. There was a brief discussion about the existence of god and that was it. They never made me go to church again and never spoke a word about it.
So, unless you feel like you're going to get a reaction like that from your parents, I highly advise that you wait until you can stand on your own two feet financially and emotionally.
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 28, 2013 at 10:54 am
Welcome aboard, dear.
Parents are a pain in the ass with that stuff and it is hard to advise you because you know them. It sounds as if the are xtians in the sense that they think they have to be in order to fit in with their social set. If all they are worried about is outward appearances - true of many religions, btw - you should be able to wean yourself away from it. Again, you know them best.
The BF? If it never came up before its hard to imagine that he's a fanatic. Most xtians can't wait to tell you how fucking holy they think they are.
Posts: 88
Threads: 10
Joined: June 3, 2013
Reputation:
3
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 28, 2013 at 11:54 am
Welcome!
With respect to parents, I would choose the path of least resistance, especially if you are still living under their roof. Them dragging you to church just reinforces the idea that they are insecure of their beliefs. So, any rebellion on your part, would just stir up their insecurities more. It is a tough situation, but once you live on your own, you will enjoy being free.
With respect to bf, It would entirely depend on situation. Currently, wife and I are very different with respect to theistic beliefs. She believes entirely, but I do not. It is a topic that we tread on lightly, and rarely discuss, since it can bring heated discussion. Although it is nice that the wife does not follow any organized religion, so she is not constantly preaching. How much preaching does your bf do? That is the bottom line, does he expect you to follow his line of perception with respect to theistic matters?
So, that is the question you must ask yourself. Does he expect you to believe like him or can you live happily without stepping on each other's toes? It is a delicate matter and one that should be approached very cautiously.
Posts: 1424
Threads: 65
Joined: February 11, 2013
Reputation:
26
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 28, 2013 at 12:54 pm
Welcome! 
ronedee Wrote:Science doesn't have a good explaination for water
Posts: 12513
Threads: 202
Joined: January 3, 2010
Reputation:
107
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 29, 2013 at 12:07 am
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Posts: 2921
Threads: 26
Joined: June 25, 2013
Reputation:
41
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 29, 2013 at 3:22 pm
Hooray for being new! I'm glad to hear you tested the waters with your boyfriend on talking about your beliefs. Chances are, it might continue to work out for you if you're able to find some middle ground on the issue.
Posts: 1571
Threads: 179
Joined: October 14, 2010
Reputation:
35
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 29, 2013 at 3:41 pm
(This post was last modified: June 29, 2013 at 3:48 pm by orogenicman.)
(June 28, 2013 at 5:08 am)Darwinian Wrote: (June 28, 2013 at 1:12 am)wower032 Wrote: Hi, I'm 21 years old junior in college. I haven't believed in a God for years, and this year I finally told two people. Not telling anyone/talking about it for so long was hard. I told my best friend, who is a Christian, but she accepts me for me and it doesn't bother her.
Anyways, I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and just recently told him I dont believe, while drunk. Not the smartest move, but anyway he freaked out and told me he does, definitely does blah blah. Haven't talked about it since, what should I do about that?? We never really talked much about religion until that night.
Also, should I ever tell my parents? They are Christians, don't go to church to often but definitely very Christian. They drag me to church sometimes and I HATE it, literally can't stand it. Any thoughts on this? Im afriad it willl break my parents heart.
Again, this never ceases to amaze me. I'm assuming that you are American based on my experience of these forums if nothing else.
If you were to come and live here in England, make a few friends and then, after you pluck up the courage, tell them that you were an atheist the reaction you would receive would be underwhelming to say the least, generally along the lines of "OK", "So what?", "Yeah, so am I" etc. etc.
The fact that there are 'civilised' countries in the world were being an atheist is something you have to keep to yourself for fear of reprisals and judgement still baffles me :S
Welcome to the forums also 
The simple reason is that the only western country that is more religious than the United States is Turkey.
(June 28, 2013 at 10:09 am)Savannahw Wrote: Hello and Welcome. Have a cookie.
I'd talk to your boyfriend, if you want to relationship to progress. However, you know your family better than we do. I will wait awhile to tell mine, because some will probably disown me. I'd judge that situation on how you see best.
Generally, what I have done is told family members if and only if it came up, but I've never made a point of telling anyone just so that they know how I feel. I believe in honesty in interpersonal relations, but that doesn't mean that I must divulge everything about myself to everyone. If someone wants or needs to know, I tell them. Otherwise, I go about my business. I just don't worry about it too much.
'The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and seal. It could not be expressed better.'
-- Samuel "Mark Twain" Clemens
"I think that in the discussion of natural problems we ought to begin not with the scriptures, but with experiments, demonstrations, and observations".
- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
"In short, Meyer has shown that his first disastrous book was not a fluke: he is capable of going into any field in which he has no training or research experience and botching it just as badly as he did molecular biology. As I've written before, if you are a complete amateur and don't understand a subject, don't demonstrate the Dunning-Kruger effect by writing a book about it and proving your ignorance to everyone else! "
- Dr. Donald Prothero
Posts: 4484
Threads: 185
Joined: October 12, 2012
Reputation:
44
RE: Nice to finally have people to talk to about atheism
June 30, 2013 at 10:31 pm
For Religion & Health see:[/b][/size] Williams & Sternthal. (2007). Spirituality, religion and health: Evidence and research directions. Med. J. Aust., 186(10), S47-S50. -LINK
The WIN/Gallup End of Year Survey 2013 found the US was perceived to be the greatest threat to world peace by a huge margin, with 24% of respondents fearful of the US followed by: 8% for Pakistan, and 6% for China. This was followed by 5% each for: Afghanistan, Iran, Israel, North Korea. -LINK
"That's disgusting. There were clean athletes out there that have had their whole careers ruined by people like Lance Armstrong who just bended thoughts to fit their circumstances. He didn't look up cheating because he wanted to stop, he wanted to justify what he was doing and to keep that continuing on." - Nicole Cooke
|
![[Image: YAAgdMk.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.imgur.com%2FYAAgdMk.gif)
