Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 28, 2024, 6:37 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Masturbation is Un-American

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Masturbation is Un-American
FifthElement Offline
Craptose Intolerant
**
Religious Views: Lewis Black
Posts: 302
Threads: 9
Joined: March 27, 2013
Reputation: 5
#1
Tongue 
Masturbation is Un-American
July 1, 2013 at 11:09 pm
Yep, here is the link:

http://whitehouse.georgewbush.org/initia.../index.asp

ROFLOL

P.S. Probably some of you seen this, but cracks the shit out me every single time I see it ...
Why Won't God Heal Amputees ? 

Oči moje na ormaru stoje i gledaju kako sarma kipi  Tongue
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#2
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm
The republican solution? Act like a dick.
Find
Reply
Ryantology Offline
shitlord
*****
Religious Views: I believe in the great abstract.
Posts: 5598
Threads: 112
Joined: July 16, 2012
Reputation: 74
#3
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 12:18 am
(July 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm)Minimalist Wrote: The republican solution? Act like a dick.

But under no circumstances touch one.
Find
Reply
Whateverist Away Donators
Known religious sympathizer/accomodationist
*****
Religious Views: Be civil or die!
Posts: 23918
Threads: 300
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation: 151
#4
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 2:13 am
(July 2, 2013 at 12:18 am)Ryantology Wrote:
(July 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm)Minimalist Wrote: The republican solution? Act like a dick.

But under no circumstances touch one.

Spank not thy monkey lest thy spilleth the seed upon the ground which was meant for begatting!
Find
Reply
Darth Offline
The Unbelievable
***
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 1127
Threads: 20
Joined: May 11, 2011
Reputation: 14
#5
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 4:47 am (This post was last modified: July 2, 2013 at 4:59 am by Darth.)
Based on wikipedia research that verse (which I'm not entirely sure is biblical by the way) should read as follows, I think:

Spankest not thine monkey, lest thou spillst thine seed upon the ground which was meant for begetting!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_Moder...h#Pronouns
Also, it's not entirely clear in your verse whether it's the seed or the ground that is meant for begetting, this sort of nonsense is how you end up with sects humping the soil, but not the surface of it. Perhaps the verse is simply explaining proper agricultural techniques.
God made Adam from soil right?

Also, I had to look up how to conjugate beget. Teehee.
Nemo me impune lacessit.
Find
Reply
Mystical Offline
Nom Nom Nom
*****
Religious Views: Ni
Posts: 6896
Threads: 89
Joined: January 13, 2013
Reputation: 116
#6
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 5:13 am
Um is this a legit website? Looks like sonething I'd make for a laugh
If I were to create self aware beings knowing fully what they would do in their lifetimes, I sure wouldn't create a HELL for the majority of them to live in infinitely! That's not Love, that's sadistic. Therefore a truly loving god does not exist!

Quote:The sin is against an infinite being (God) unforgiven infinitely, therefore the punishment is infinite.

Dead wrong.  The actions of a finite being measured against an infinite one are infinitesimal and therefore merit infinitesimal punishment.

Quote:Some people deserve hell.

I say again:  No exceptions.  Punishment should be equal to the crime, not in excess of it.  As soon as the punishment is greater than the crime, the punisher is in the wrong.

[Image: tumblr_n1j4lmACk61qchtw3o1_500.gif]
Find
Reply
pocaracas Offline
Posting Freak
*****
Religious Views: Non-believer
Posts: 19552
Threads: 177
Joined: July 31, 2012
Reputation: 92
#7
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 6:47 am
(July 2, 2013 at 5:13 am)missluckie26 Wrote: Um is this a legit website? Looks like sonething I'd make for a laugh

The thread is in the humor section for a reason! Wink
The best poe is the one that leaves you wondering if it's legit!
Find
Reply
zebo-the-fat Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 3034
Threads: 177
Joined: April 29, 2012
Reputation: 24
#8
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 6:48 am
Hey, I'm English, does that mean it's ok for me??
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

Find
Reply
littleendian Offline
Spank Jeebus whisky is vegan!
**
Religious Views: The truth is a pathless land
Posts: 480
Threads: 1
Joined: May 15, 2013
Reputation: 9
#9
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 6:49 am
Masturbation is a gift. Imagine everyone stopped masturbating! Society would collapse within weeks. Big Grin
"Men see clearly enough the barbarity of all ages — except their own!" — Ernest Crosby.
Find
Reply
CapnAwesome Offline Donators
Donator
*****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 5436
Threads: 138
Joined: September 6, 2012
Reputation: 58
#10
RE: Masturbation is Un-American
July 2, 2013 at 8:39 am (This post was last modified: July 2, 2013 at 8:41 am by CapnAwesome.)
I know it's a humor website, but this shit actually happens and not just from Republicans. In one of the ultimate twists of irony Bill Clinton actually fired his Surgeon General for saying masturbation should be part of sex-ed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joycelyn_Elders
[Image: dcep7c.jpg]
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Masturbation is Un-American

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Events of the American electoral campain which are so stupid that it hurts. krautpasta 2 1598 May 17, 2013 at 5:50 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Not The Nine O'Clock News - American Election Candidate pocaracas 0 1183 April 5, 2013 at 7:29 pm
Last Post: pocaracas
  Making Fun of Right-Wing American Christians wwajdblogger 1 947 February 11, 2013 at 6:34 pm
Last Post: wwajdblogger



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)