Americas child death shame

[thesummerqueen]

But I guess my question is why if two children (who are even pretty well-behaved) stress you out, why would you want a third? Been married to her for 13 years and sometimes I still don't understand her mind.

So, I don't want to insult your wife...but I might insult her with the following supposition (so please take it as "I'm just sayin'):

I think a lot of women like the KEWT factor of a new baby, and all the excitement and gifts and doe-eyed newness and the dress-up part. It's like those people who keep getting new cats because they love the bopsiness of kittens.

At least, amongst my peers I hear "I miss them being babies."

[Doubting Thomas]

Yeah I think that has to be a lot of it. Personally, I hated the baby stage. The "Awww, cute" factor quickly goes out the window when you're up every two hours feeding them and changing diapers, not to mention the constant crying and fussing of a colicky or sick baby. I can't wait for our 1-year-old to get out of diapers and start talking regularly.

[Minimalist]

From this morning's Arizona Republic

http://www.azcentral.com/community/phoen...ck_check=1

A 15-month-old, malnourished girl died in the hospital Wednesday morning after Phoenix police and fire departments received a call that the girl was not breathing.

And the reason....TA DA!

Both parents said they were the only people to take care of the girl and she had not seen a doctor since birth because of their religious beliefs

What a fucking surprise!

[Bad Writer]

FFFffffffffff...

[Rahul]

Yeah I think that has to be a lot of it. Personally, I hated the baby stage. The "Awww, cute" factor quickly goes out the window when you're up every two hours feeding them and changing diapers, not to mention the constant crying and fussing of a colicky or sick baby. I can't wait for our 1-year-old to get out of diapers and start talking regularly.

Yeah, I agree. The first six months were the worst. Completely helpless. Couldn't even crawl. Yeah, cute baby, but it just lays there waiting for you to take care of it's every need or ITS GOING TO JUST LAY THERE AND DIE.

That freaked me out. At least once it starts to get mobile you start to relax a little more. But then they try to shove everything in their mouths and choke to death on it! AUGH!

I'm so glad my youngest one is 8. Even if the rest of the family disappeared she'd mess around the house and eat everything while she watched TV and played on the computer. Then she'd go next door and tell the neighbors (who we're friends with) what's going on.

Now if they just wouldn't become teenagers and skip over to being financially independent.

[Doubting Thomas]

Now if they just wouldn't become teenagers and skip over to being financially independent.

I think our 3-year-old son is turning into a teenager. Whenever we tell him something, he responds with "No it isn't."

[pineapplebunnybounce]

Some people just aren't meant to be parents. But a lot of people don't get that, and the decision to not have kids is not a popular one. I've had so many people try to convince me otherwise, and all with ridiculous (and infuriating) reasons like:
1. but what about your parents? you're not going to give them grandchildren?
2. but don't you want to leave something behind?
3. what if your husband/bf really wants kids?
4. who's going to take care of you when you're old?
5. you can't always travel and hangout with friends, one day they'll have their families and you'll be all alone.
6. why don't you think you'll be happy with children? once you have one you'll LOVE it.
7. adoption is not the same as having your own. (when i say i'll never risk pregnancy if i change my mind, since there are kids that already need parents out there)
8. you'll regret it and it'll be too late (and this one is SO POPULAR)

And this may just be my own experience, but only other people who don't want kids have ever understood my position. Anyone who's already had kids, or wants kids, will try to talk me out of it. Which is hilarious because I'm often so busy that when I get home around 9-10pm, I just want to watch some shows and crash. Imagine if there's a crying baby, I'll go nuts.

I think people should understand that babies take up 18 years of your life at least, if you're lucky. Sure there are people who love to be parents and devote their lives to their children. And that's great. But not everyone can make a commitment like that, and you may not have done a good thing, when you convince someone who has doubts to have a kid.

[Faith No More]

I have a kid, and I would never talk you out of it. It's not something to be done unless you are wholeheartedly committed to it.

[Minimalist]

I coached Little League Baseball for 10 years - 9-12 year olds - and they were great. Some of their parents were assholes but that's to be expected.

Then I coached hockey (13-15 year olds) for a couple of years and some of those kids were lucky I didn't strangle them on the bench. They thought they knew fucking EVERYTHING...and each one thought he was Wayne Gretzky. They weren't.

And some of the parents were still assholes.

[Doubting Thomas]

This is exactly why I never try to convince childless people to have children.

Proper answers:

1. but what about your parents? you're not going to give them grandchildren?

You don't have kids just so your parents would have grandchildren. It's awfully selfish of people to exhort their children into having kids just so they'll have grandchildren. And unless you're an only child, perhaps your siblings will provide the grandchildren.

2. but don't you want to leave something behind?

Not everyone cares about this. I'd think leaving behind a cleaner planet better able to sustain life would be better than just having kids to pass on your name.

3. what if your husband/bf really wants kids?

This is something couples have to work out before they make a commitment to be together.

4. who's going to take care of you when you're old?

That's what rest homes are for.

5. you can't always travel and hangout with friends, one day they'll have their families and you'll be all alone.

You'll have each other to travel and hang out with. If your friends are too busy with their families to spend time with you, then they're not really your friends.

6. why don't you think you'll be happy with children? once you have one you'll LOVE it.

There's no guarantee about that, and once you do have one you can't just give it back if you hate being a parent.

7. adoption is not the same as having your own. (when i say i'll never risk pregnancy if i change my mind, since there are kids that already need parents out there)

I can't believe anyone who considers themselves a parent having this attitude. Family is about emotional bonds, not just blood.

8. you'll regret it and it'll be too late (and this one is SO POPULAR)

That's why adoption is such a good thing.

I love my kids, but I don't want any more. I haven't been a parent long but I know it's not an easy job.