Americas child death shame

[downbeatplumb]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15193530

Over the past 10 years, more than 20,000 American children are believed to have been killed in their own homes by family members. That is nearly four times the number of US soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The child maltreatment death rate in the US is triple Canada's and 11 times that of Italy. Millions of children are reported as abused and neglected every year.

[LastPoet]

And I bet they were considered "church going, devout christians" untill the shit hitted the fan...

[Doubting Thomas]

But of course as soon as their kids died they were labeled "not true Christians."

[thesummerqueen]

No, people shut their eyes and say "god willed it."

[Bad Writer]

Genesis tells man that we must multiply and replenish the earth. Many Judeo-Christian denominations and devout followers of such philosophy take this to mean that it's their duty to bring children into the world, despite what the parents personally want.

Religion teaches people to not be selfish, but not all selfishness is bad. In fact, I'd say not having children until you're ready (and for some, not having children at all) is one of the best kinds of selfish you can be.

[thesummerqueen]

Religion teaches people to not be selfish, but not all selfishness is bad. In fact, I'd say not having children until you're ready (and for some, not having children at all) is one of the best kinds of selfish you can be.

I think it's selfish he way many people have kids just to fulfill a doctrine, or for myriad other reasons:

Doug Stanhope: "You wanted a kid because you wanted to see what you would look like if you hadn't eaten so much cake!" (True enough - many people try to live their fantasies out in their offspring)

My boyfriend's sister: "I wanted company." (She can't afford ANYTHING and bounces between a trailer and their parents' house. Sometimes, my boyfriend has bought her a week's worth of groceries because she can't feed the kid.)

Former friend: "I only ever wanted to be a mother." (She's an affair-having skank whose mother ignored her, and addicted to pain killers - her second child came out with addiction from the womb.)

Acquaintance: "I thought the kids would keep us together." (You thought WRONG!)

Other acquaintance: "Well, that's the next step isn't it?" (No, douchebag, your life is your own...you don't have to follow some pre-ordained 'plan' that doesn't exist just so you look good for society.)



Truth: David and I don't want to have kids because

1) We can't afford it.
2) We want to travel.
3) We don't like small, smelly people very much.
4) We don't want our toys messed up.
5) I don't have the patience.
6) He likes having a clean condo.
7) We both have siblings who will have kids, so we can spoil them and give them back.
8) If we had kids, we could adopt instead, being bereft of the need for family to be about 'blood', since many of our blood relatives actually suck ass.
9) I'm scared of bringing a kid into the school system here in NC.
10) College fees.

[Jackalope]

7) We both have siblings who will have kids, so we can spoil them and give them back.

If you ever want to enact revenge on the kids' parents, buy the kids noisy musical instruments and puppies.

You're welcome.

[thesummerqueen]

7) We both have siblings who will have kids, so we can spoil them and give them back.

If you ever want to enact revenge on the kids' parents, buy the kids noisy musical instruments and puppies.

You're welcome.

Already learned that from my aunts and uncles.

Although to be fair, the best gift I ever got from an extended family member was the telescope my then childless uncle gave me, which caused me to spend many silent hours outside absorbed in astronomy.

I want to be that aunt.


EDIT: I want to be the kind of aunt that has a spare bedroom or two just for those kids, and keep all the things I know my siblings won't get them: chemistry kits and crafty things that they can do at my place (under supervision) and learn stuff. My parents bought me books galore but never practical application kits.

[Bad Writer]

Truth: David and I don't want to have kids because

1) We can't afford it.
2) We want to travel.
3) We don't like small, smelly people very much.
4) We don't want our toys messed up.
5) I don't have the patience.
6) He likes having a clean condo.
7) We both have siblings who will have kids, so we can spoil them and give them back.
8) If we had kids, we could adopt instead, being bereft of the need for family to be about 'blood', since many of our blood relatives actually suck ass.
9) I'm scared of bringing a kid into the school system here in NC.
10) College fees.

Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you. I especially liked number seven.

I had a daughter with my ex-wife back when I was Mormon because I was under the false assumption that I was supposed to. Now my daughter is going to grow up in a less-than-ideal situation going from apartment from apartment with her succubus mother (I kid you not, she moved in with her new boyfriend a week after she broke up with her last one), and I'm left raising my daughter long-distance over Skype once a week. Myself and my ex are to blame for our daughter's situation, and I physically can't do more than I already do for her.

[thesummerqueen]

Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you. I especially liked number seven.

I spent 25 years being closed in one manner or another about many things, and conducting myself in a way I didn't like. The reason I was adamant about you raising your daughter to parse out her feelings is because I think being honest with yourself is paramount, and being honest with others is only slightly less so. My life changed dramatically 3 years ago when I stopped being dishonest (even at the sake of what Americans consider polite) and started being forthright. It's got me into trouble because I also lack tact in many situations, but I'm learning. If more people were honest about their needs and wants, I think the world would be a much better place. Despite what 'humbling' religions like Abrahamic ones suggest, doing so DOES leave room to be personally selfish AND altruistic.

I had a daughter with my ex-wife back when I was Mormon because I was under the false assumption that I was supposed to. Now my daughter is going to grow up in a less-than-ideal situation going from apartment from apartment with her succubus mother (I kid you not, she moved in with her new boyfriend a week after she broke up with her last one), and I'm left raising my daughter long-distance over Skype once a week. Myself and my ex are to blame for our daughter's situation, and I physically can't do more than I already do for her.

I have a friend who is saving up to sue for custody of his daughter for similar reasons. It's expensive, but you might want to consider it.