Lawyer Sues Israel, Italy and Pontius Pilate for Jesus' Crucifixion

[Minimalist]

Dan Cunting Brown would. Please, don't anybody tell him.

It's already been done. Something else xtians try to hush up.

5. They, however, that they may establish their false opinion regarding that which is written, "to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord," maintain that He preached for one year only, and then suffered in the twelfth month. [In speaking thus], they are forgetful to their own disadvantage, destroying His whole work, and robbing Him of that age which is both more necessary and more honourable than any other; that more advanced age, I mean, during which also as a teacher He excelled all others. For how could He have had disciples, if He did not teach? And how could He have taught, unless He had reached the age of a Master? For when He came to be baptized, He had not yet completed His thirtieth year, but was beginning to be about thirty years of age (for thus Luke, who has mentioned His years, has expressed it: "Now Jesus was, as it were, beginning to be thirty years old,"153 when He came to receive baptism); and, [according to these men, ] He preached only one year reckoning from His baptism. On completing His thirtieth year He suffered, being in fact still a young man, and who had by no means attained to advanced age. Now, that the first stage of early life embraces thirty years,154 and that this extends onwards to the fortieth year, every one will admit; but from the fortieth and fiftieth year a man begins to decline towards old age, which our Lord possessed while He still fulfilled the office of a Teacher, even as the Gospel and all the elders testify; those who were conversant in Asia with John, the disciple of the Lord, [affirming] that John conveyed to them that information.155 And he remained among them up to the times of Trajan.156 Some of them, moreover, saw not only John, but the other apostles also, and heard the very same account from them, and bear testimony as to the [validity of] the statement. Whom then should we rather believe? Whether such men as these, or Ptolemaeus, who never saw the apostles, and who never even in his dreams attained to the slightest trace of an apostle?


Irenaeus of Lyons c 185 Against Heresies II.22.5

[Bad Writer]

Statute of limitations, anyone?

[Faith No More]

There isn't one on murder.

[Bad Writer]

A real person would first have to have been murdered. Since nobody can decide if Jesus was real, this case should be thrown out pretty quickly.

[Faith No More]

Don't be so hasty. Do you know how entertaining it would be to watch Christians try to meet the burden of proof that is required in a court of law?

The closing argument by the Prosecutor would be, "I know we can't prove it here today, but if you just ask, seek, and knock, and never give up, you will see that the defense is guilty of murder."

[Bad Writer]

True enough.