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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 9:29 pm
(This post was last modified: September 11, 2013 at 9:33 pm by Ryantology.)
(September 11, 2013 at 5:41 pm)Minimalist Wrote:
Load him up and let's see.
That gives me an idea.
Step 1: Hire a numerologist to peruse the Bible until he finds the secret code which reveals the exact trajectory of Christ's ascent
Step 2: Launch Christians from catapult until the trajectory is replicated to atomic precision
Step 3: Continue until you have either discovered the front door of Heaven or until you run out of Christians
One way or another, the eternal question of God's existence will be resolved by the end of the experiment.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 9:39 pm
His velocity would have been too weak to get him past the moon. His orbit would have decayed, sending him plummeting back to earth, only to eventually burn upon re-entry.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 9:42 pm
Quote: until you run out of Christians
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 9:45 pm
(September 11, 2013 at 9:39 pm)BadWriterSparty Wrote: His velocity would have been too weak to get him past the moon. His orbit would have decayed, sending him plummeting back to earth, only to eventually burn upon re-entry. His raising velocity wouldn't be enough to get him off the ground. If he was raising at actual escape velocity it would not he been like what acts tells at all. Poor jesus would have come apart given that earth escape velocity is 11 km/s. Just imagine Jesus's charred arm coming down in a town a few miles away.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 10:05 pm
(This post was last modified: September 11, 2013 at 10:07 pm by Captain Colostomy.)
(September 11, 2013 at 9:45 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: (September 11, 2013 at 9:39 pm)BadWriterSparty Wrote: His velocity would have been too weak to get him past the moon. His orbit would have decayed, sending him plummeting back to earth, only to eventually burn upon re-entry. His raising velocity wouldn't be enough to get him off the ground. If he was raising at actual escape velocity it would not he been like what acts tells at all. Poor jesus would have come apart given that earth escape velocity is 11 km/s. Just imagine Jesus's charred arm coming down in a town a few miles away.
Imagine the faithful flocking to worship it...because they would. The Church of the Charred Tibia would rival the Vatican.
Edit: It's been too long since my last anatomy class. You still get my meaning.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 10:10 pm
See what you can do with this.
http://www.muchgames.com/games/zombie-catapult
Jesus makes a decent zombie.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 11:11 pm
(September 11, 2013 at 10:05 pm)Captain Colostomy Wrote: (September 11, 2013 at 9:45 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: His raising velocity wouldn't be enough to get him off the ground. If he was raising at actual escape velocity it would not he been like what acts tells at all. Poor jesus would have come apart given that earth escape velocity is 11 km/s. Just imagine Jesus's charred arm coming down in a town a few miles away.
Imagine the faithful flocking to worship it...because they would. The Church of the Charred Tibia would rival the Vatican.
Edit: It's been too long since my last anatomy class. You still get my meaning.
.. I wonder what would've happened in the town that found his dick. All hail the cock of Christ! Or even better if they found the ass still attached. Now we will kiss the ass of our saviour.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 11, 2013 at 11:42 pm
No change there, then.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 12, 2013 at 1:58 am
Two words:
Tractor beam.
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RE: Calculating the trajectory of jesus
September 12, 2013 at 2:15 am
(This post was last modified: September 12, 2013 at 2:38 am by Lemonvariable72.)
I would like to amend my earlier caluclation, he is headed for the galaxy NGC 4642, heh maybe the mormons were right LOL
(September 11, 2013 at 9:29 pm)Ryantology Wrote: (September 11, 2013 at 5:41 pm)Minimalist Wrote:
Load him up and let's see.
That gives me an idea.
Step 1: Hire a numerologist to peruse the Bible until he finds the secret code which reveals the exact trajectory of Christ's ascent
Step 2: Launch Christians from catapult until the trajectory is replicated to atomic precision
Step 3: Continue until you have either discovered the front door of Heaven or until you run out of Christians
One way or another, the eternal question of God's existence will be resolved by the end of the experiment.
Where John V. when you need him
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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