Exposing your child to religion...

[Deckard]

This is probably the wrong place to post this.

I have a new fear. I have a 2 year old boy, who incidentally is possibly the most awesome thing in the world. Other people with kids may say the same, but frankly they're wrong!

Anyhoo... We took him on a play date with a kid from nursery, they get on amazingly well and play together really well, its really great to watch.

However, during this time I find out that the parents are religious... But religious to the extent that he is a pastor. Not only that. But a pastor of an evangelical church. I've not found out if he's new Earth creationist or not (this would be properly scary) but the church website sites a lot of loving Jesus and enrolling others.

This bothers me. It bothers me a lot. The thing is that they are really nice people, but I have a fear they are going to poison his mind. I know its crazy talk but you get a bit weird when you have your first kid and get overly protective.

Just looking for points of view really.

[Rahul]

My parents are very religious. To the point that even though they are both very well educated and intelligent, they don't believe in evolution. Baffling. Anyway, I let my two daughters, now 10 & 8, go spend a week with them in the summer where they take them to summer bible camp. I think it's a good thing.

Why? Well, for one, most people buy into religion, like I did growing up, because no one pointed out all the blatant problems with it while they are young. You are there to guide him. Let him learn about their religious viewpoints and then ask him the tough questions. Make him think about it. Most people don't experience this growing up so religion gets a free ride in their minds. You will also be able to point out to him all the other religions various people believe. It would be an excellent tool for you to teach him critical thought.

Shielding him from religious viewpoints will prevent him from building these mental defenses. When he grows up and moves away, if he's not taught these things, he might be easy prey for some religious nutballs.

It's a good thing. Raise a critically minded young man. Let him learn ALL about religion.

[Deckard]

That's excellent advice. Pretty sure thats what i was thinking. Just experiencing irrational new parent fears! Thank you

[Captain Colostomy]

Yeah. He may be too young to notice this yet, but any obvious pushing in certain directions by you or his mother could backfire anyway. Assuming he enjoys this playmate's company, your apprehension could possibly translate into a rebellious embracing of that religion. It's better to enform kids, not enforce, in cases like this.

[Deckard]

Yeah. I'm pretty sure this is more about me than him! Just getting my head round it really. We don't get a lot of outwardly religious people round here!

[Anomalocaris]

For a while, say till he is 12-14, your influence will overwhelmingly trump any influence by the parents of his playmates, of his teachers, or of his other relatively except maybe his mother's, if you are engaged at all as a parent.

[pocaracas]

When my eldest was ~7yo, he asked me something about why I don't believe (my wife tries to get to them...); I, knowing he likes dinosaurs very much, like all boys, asked him "did the dinosaurs come before or after jesus?"... He didn't know... had to ask mum... she dodged it and he went back to watching tv.
It's little things like this that go into their upbringing. Teach them to ask the questions no one else thinks of, at that age.
Be the role model that comes with being a parent. If you're a positive role model, not believing will seem like something natural and not negative to the kid.
Let the kid think, don't make up his mind.

Most of the times, I just ask them back "do you believe?" If they say yes (because mum is around), I then proceed with the kid version "Have you ever seen god?", "no", "then why do you think he exists?" (in portuguese, we don't have the "it", so I have to resort to "he"), "mum says he exists".... "how does she know about it?".... call mum... she can't answer... just mumbles something about believing... oops dad get no sex for a week!

[bladevalant546]

I think if one teaches objectivity they should allow said child to be exposed to religion and not forced into any particular mold. With that said, do not allow religion to suppress a persons individuality.

[Gilgamesh]

Tell him not to believe in things without supporting evidence. If he still buys their bullshit, your kid isn't as bright as you think he is. Good luck, bro.

[Cyberman]

I've never had kids of my own but I do have a nephew now aged 24 and his little 8-year-old sister. When my nephew was about his sister's age, or a little younger, we had a little incident involving a longtime friend of mine who was visiting and playing video games etc. He and his then-girlfriend, now wife, had just caught religion and, like all good Typhoid Marys, had no qualms about spreading it around.

On this occasion, he'd given my nephew a sticker he'd got from his church, some kids' club rubbish, and was chatting to him about monsters and suchlike. I forget the details now but the gist of it was that monsters and demons are real and come out at night, sort of thing. Something like that.

Later, after the friend had left, my nephew came to me, his trusted uncle, and in a small scared voice asked if what he'd been told was real. Of course I reassured him that it was all just made up and my friend was just being silly. After a while, my nephew went back to his games and the telly and plain old little boy activities.

Next day I had a short, sharp 'chat' with my friend and funnily enough he never tried to do it again. He did try to convert me a few times, only making himself look silly in the process. Despite all this, we're still very great friends and in fact his faith seems to have diminished over the years, possibly due to some rational influence whose identity completely escapes me .