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Atheism and the midlife-crisis
#1
Atheism and the midlife-crisis
I am 42 years old. I have a fine arts diploma, a BFA, a BEd and am currently working on a diploma in Visual Communications. I have no job, but was recently a high school teacher for several years. I am a husband of 12 years and father to two beautiful girls aged 7 and 5. I am currently in roughly year two of severe depression and anxiety due to the recognition and acknowledgement of my failures as a human within the tiny expanse of my pathetic and insignificant existence as a spec of dust in the incomprehensible vastness of the universe(s). I have always fought (mostly subconsciously) against conformity and domesticity and against the wonderful security and simple pleasures that come with it, growing bored and self-destructive in the process. My shrink thinks I hate myself because I am never satisfied with the state I’m in, constantly in flux with my understanding of place and self, unrelenting in a battle against a meaningless existence, unable to comprehend what that means. I fear death because I don't believe in God and am terrified at the idea of nothingness. I envy those who have found God as I long for security in the choices I make, I long for faith in something. I always want more and when satiated, I destroy then move on past the rubble. I’m a cliché and I know/perpetuate it.

The latheist
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#2
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
I liken religion to training wheels on a bicycle. Sure, it's scary not to have that support making sure that you don't fall over, but riding without them ensures that you can create that security on your own. The task of learning to ride without training wheels seems daunting and is frightening, but learning to manage your life on your own free from such trappings instills with you with a sense of brisk liberation and intellectual freedom.

My advice is to embrace the void. Accept that life is finite and learn to live your life knowing that it will all one day come to an end. It's the fact that life ends as it does that makes the journey precious and gives it the value that we perceive. Without death, life would be an eternal voyage that slowly slipped into such tediousness that would make you wish you had never been born.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#3
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis



"Wow."

For obvious reasons, Faith and I don't meet on the issue, apparently, but I'm sure there is plenty of discussion on that score here and about, and I am not going to debate it here, other than to point out that his is simply one man's view.

Death is a concern of the living. The dead do not fear it.

I am sorry your life is such a struggle for you, and, somewhat different than you would like, or, perhaps, need.

My opinion, only, of course, but there are good people here. If you stay, perhaps you will find something of value to you. If not, good luck on your journey.


[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
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#4
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
Hi and welcome.

I'm of the opinion that depressed people can't help being sad, I'm glad that you're seeing someone about it, because if you're depressed, it's a medical condition and there are attempts you can make to get better. Perhaps get a second opinion if the help you're currently getting isn't helping. I am not belittling your feelings, they're every bit as real as anyone's. Just ... I've known some depressed people who feel perhaps it's their fault for not being able to be happy like everyone wants them to.

As for god and afterlife and all that. Wellllll ... if you read the bible closely enough, it's almost impossible to go to heaven. So there is an afterlife and its hell. Either way, when you're dead you won't have a brain to feel fear. So don't worry.

Anyway, hopefully you'll like this forum and stick around.
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#5
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
Learn to laugh...a lot. And take your meds. I'm not the ideal person to be giving advice, though, so I'll just say 'Welcome to AF' and leave it at that.
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#6
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
Hi Latheist- I'm also 42, and also having something of a midlife crisis, but for different reasons (well... maybe not so different. Identity is at the heart of mine, too). But I was raised by atheists and have never had god issues, so I don't know if I can understand what you are going through. I am interested to hear more, though, if only because I perk up when I hear that another middle-aged person is having it rough (many of my friends are- or seem- just fine with the 40s, which eats at me sometimes).

Why do you think your existence is meaningless? You are a father- so you have meaning to two little people, at the very least, which is pretty fricking important.

And why do you fear death being nothingness so much? If that turns out to be the case, you won't know or care. I fear death, too, but I think my fears may be different than yours. I fear DYING more than I fear death.

In any case, I'm new here, too, and I welcome you. Let's talk midlife crisis- I could use the company.
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#7
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
Yep, existential faith is good to have. I have some. I have faith that the gifts my psyche can bestow -like euphoria and insight- or sometimes with-hold are nothing to which I am entitled. That's the thing about gifts. Realizing how little control I have over that keeps me humble. I find the less I try to manufacture what is not under my control the better I do. My psyche is like the weather, mixed. Try to find something to like about rainy days. And don't squeeze the sunny ones too tight. It won't work.
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#8
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
Hello.

Sounds like you are going out of your way to over-complicate things.
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#9
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
(September 25, 2013 at 9:49 pm)apophenia Wrote: For obvious reasons, Faith and I don't meet on the issue, apparently, but I'm sure there is plenty of discussion on that score here and about, and I am not going to debate it here, other than to point out that his is simply one man's view.

Out of curiosity, are you referring to the part about religion or death?
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#10
RE: Atheism and the midlife-crisis
Welcome to AF. I'm also 42 but so far no midlife crisis. I'm sorry you're suffering from depression, but religion is not the way to go, IMO. Especially not Christianity because a lot of Christians believe that we are worthless and deserve to be destroyed or sent to eternal torture by God just because he made us. Other Christians seem to not understand how anyone can be unhappy when they've heard the "good news" that God loves them, etc. Not particularly helpful for depression.

I'll just second the idea of taking your meds with the addition to have lots of sex with your wife. Nobody is unhappy during an orgasm.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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