Adventures in Cock/Cunt-Blocking

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Inspired by what happened to me and my friends last night, tell a story of a time you were totally cock/cunt-blocked. They say misery loves company, after all.

I didn't put this in the Area 69 forum because I expect that the stories will not get beyond PG-13 rating.

My story from last night: A friend invited me to his apartment. First, we drank and played Wii. Then we drank and played Cards Against Humanity. Then we were all wasted and played the "spin the bottle" variant of Truth or Dare. Note that I was the only single one there. There were two gay guys, two straight guys, one bisexual woman, and me (a lesbian if you didn't know). Truth or Dare pretty much right away turned into Sexy/Strip Truth or Dare. All the dares were basically designed to turn everyone on. By the end of it, everyone was at least half naked. I was displaying bare breasts. (Which one of the straight guys high-fived me for.) If things had gone on, things might have legitimately turned into an orgy.

That was when it happened. My host's roommate came in and immediately said, "This is NOT okay." Instead of just going to her room, she stuck around while everyone put on their clothes. Someone said to our host, "I'm sorry if we offended her." I cracked, "It's easy to offend a Christian." She heard this and she went, "It has NOTHING to do with being a Christian. I have MORALS." I was just stunned at that point. Someone else apologized for getting our host in trouble with his roommate and he assured everyone that it was fine. As soon as we were out of her earshot, I couldn't help but make fun of her. After all, who the FUCK does she think she is, saying that I don't have morals? My whole life, my moral values have been extremely important to me, they just happen to be strongly sex-positive whereas hers are not. And it was total bullshit that her anger had nothing to do with being a Christian, because where the hell does she think she got the idea that nudity was something to be ashamed and embarrassed about?

Anyway, your turn.

[Rahul]

If her society had originated in a warmer climate nudity would be commonplace. There is nothing immoral about nudity.

[Whateverist]

I can't match that. Tell the part again where you bared your breasts and all the straight guys high fived you.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

I can't match that. Tell the part again where you bared your breasts and all the straight guys high fived you.

I didn't even mention the part where the bisexual woman took her bra off temporarily so I could fulfill my dare of "caressing her breasts." And the one where we were dared to kiss each other. I think it was the best kiss we've shared in our entire friendship, including the upside-down Spider-man-style kiss on Halloween night.

[Fruity]

I love to read futile's posts. Please go on...

[Cinjin]

Cock-blocked at 23:

I eyed myself a fine piece of tail gently moving her hips while sucking provocatively on some sorta fruity red-yellow umbrella-sporting girly cocktail from across the bar. I waited for her to get much nearer the dance floor and when she did I proceeded to lead her out into the center with the other dancing young people. Only about 40 seconds into our musical foreplay, my idiot friend comes in (pretending to be far more drunk than he was) and puts his arms around both of us while vocalizing stupid questions about what we were doing and whether or not I was giving this "lovely young lady" a hard time. She quickly retreated to the safety of the sidelines. He followed, but quickly realized she wasn't biting. Annoyed as hell, I returned to my other friends at the bar/table to have a drink and maintain my quickly fading cool demeanor. I thought I was going to retrieve the football and return for the touchdown when she met me on the dance floor again about an hour later. However, he did the EXACT SAME THING AGAIN! Now fully annoyed, she left both the dance floor and the bar and I never saw her again.


Someone punched him in the face later that same night on an unrelated matter.
Cockblock mother fucker.

[BrokenQuill92]

Mine mostly involves my BFF Zack. He is literally the world's biggest gay 7'2" and he finds it immensely funny to come up and kiss me on the cheek, slap my ass and say "what's up baby" when I'm trying to flirt. why can't I have normal friends?

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

I love to read futile's posts. Please go on...

There wasn't any more girl on girl action.

Here are the hetero things that happened.
Someone dared the bisexual girl to lick her boyfriend's "V" line. (The one from the hip to just above the penis and back to the hip.) A few of the guys (one gay and one straight) caught a glimpse of his penis when this happened.

I dared our gay male host to rub the bisexual girl's inner thigh while simultaneously kissing her neck. She moaned with pleasure. I told his boyfriend, "It helps me with this game that I know what turns women on."

---

Cock-blocked at 23:

I eyed myself a fine piece of tail gently moving her hips while sucking provocatively on some sorta fruity red-yellow umbrella-sporting girly cocktail from across the bar. I waited for her to get much nearer the dance floor and when she did I proceeded to lead her out into the center with the other dancing young people. Only about 40 seconds into our musical foreplay, my idiot friend comes in (pretending to be far more drunk than he was) and puts his arms around both of us while vocalizing stupid questions about what we were doing and whether or not I was giving this "lovely young lady" a hard time. She quickly retreated to the safety of the sidelines. He followed, but quickly realized she wasn't biting. Annoyed as hell, I returned to my other friends at the bar/table to have a drink and maintain my quickly fading cool demeanor. I thought I was going to retrieve the football and return for the touchdown when she met me on the dance floor again about an hour later. However, he did the EXACT SAME THING AGAIN! Now fully annoyed, she left both the dance floor and the bar and I never saw her again.


Someone punched him in the face later that same night on an unrelated matter.
Cockblock mother fucker.

Oh, God, I would've had to confront him about that shit. And make it clear that if he ever did that again, we would not be friends anymore. Cockblocking friends are no friends at all.

[Angrboda]

Cock-blocked at 23:

I eyed myself a fine piece of tail gently moving her hips while sucking provocatively on some sorta fruity red-yellow umbrella-sporting girly cocktail from across the bar. I waited for her to get much nearer the dance floor and when she did I proceeded to lead her out into the center with the other dancing young people. Only about 40 seconds into our musical foreplay, my idiot friend comes in (pretending to be far more drunk than he was) and puts his arms around both of us while vocalizing stupid questions about what we were doing and whether or not I was giving this "lovely young lady" a hard time. She quickly retreated to the safety of the sidelines. He followed, but quickly realized she wasn't biting. Annoyed as hell, I returned to my other friends at the bar/table to have a drink and maintain my quickly fading cool demeanor. I thought I was going to retrieve the football and return for the touchdown when she met me on the dance floor again about an hour later. However, he did the EXACT SAME THING AGAIN! Now fully annoyed, she left both the dance floor and the bar and I never saw her again.


Someone punched him in the face later that same night on an unrelated matter.
Cockblock mother fucker.

Uh, uh... um... "dangling participle"

[rexbeccarox]

My best friend hit on a chick he knows full well I'm in love with, but she's straight, so he thought it would be ok. She didn't go for it. Fucker. Serves him right.