Hows Life?

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

NO but I'll give you my phone number if you ever wanna talk

So if I get this straight, the male (Father) figures in your life were abusive but you were associating sexual arousal with coveting female genitalia at the age of three when life was peachy?

It wasn't sexual at the age of three, per se, but romantic. It wasn't sexual until I was maybe 7 or so. I had a crush on a female school counselor and I really wanted to explore my sexuality with her. Whenever I made a move, like putting my hand on hers, she would look uncomfortable and back away. It was very frustrating.

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Since you're a Donor to this site why is your name not purple?

Me? I'm not a donor.

[Phatt Matt s]

Did you make much physical contact with your Mother? Sometimes a lack of maternal affection can lead to an extreme sensitivity to the touch of a female leading to a need which is then sexualized.

Did you see other women as mysterious and exoctic. I bet you enjoyed the restrooms like a boy in the girls lockeroom.


I remember when I was prepubescent I was interested in the adult penis and would sometimes glance while at the urinal but this never developed into homosexuality. have no desire to see such things now.

Even with porn I prefer images of beautiful women without the male present.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Did you make much physical contact with your Mother? Sometimes a lack of maternal affection can lead to an extreme sensitivity to the touch of a female leading to a need which is then sexualized.

Did you see other women as mysterious and exoctic. I bet you enjoyed the restrooms like a boy in the girls lockeroom.

Well, when I was younger, I was angry with my mother because I didn't understand why she would let me go with my biological father every other weekend when she knew how he was. I knew they had a legal agreement that required this visitation, but I didn't see why we couldn't just run away to Mexico or something.

Additionally, I would come home so angry and physically violent. I lashed out on the people that I knew would love me anyway - my mom and my brother.

We had some tender moments, but to be honest, a lot of our physical contact was violent.

No, it wasn't that. I thought of women as being like angels, protectors who were good.

I didn't have much interest in girls my own age, except for one. My best friend that I met in 1st grade. It was love at first sight, and that love only grew over the years of our friendship. She was my first kiss. After that kiss, all I wanted was to do it again. And then I hit puberty, and I wanted her, but I knew she couldn't feel the same way because she hadn't hit puberty yet. She was also a Christian, and I didn't want her to have to choose between God and me, so when I started homeschooling, I let us drift apart.

[Phatt Matt s]

Did you make much physical contact with your Mother? Sometimes a lack of maternal affection can lead to an extreme sensitivity to the touch of a female leading to a need which is then sexualized.

Did you see other women as mysterious and exoctic. I bet you enjoyed the restrooms like a boy in the girls lockeroom.

Well, when I was younger, I was angry with my mother because I didn't understand why she would let me go with my biological father every other weekend when she knew how he was. I knew they had a legal agreement that required this visitation, but I didn't see why we couldn't just run away to Mexico or something.

Additionally, I would come home so angry and physically violent. I lashed out on the people that I knew would love me anyway - my mom and my brother.

We had some tender moments, but to be honest, a lot of our physical contact was violent.

No, it wasn't that. I thought of women as being like angels, protectors who were good.

I didn't have much interest in girls my own age, except for one. My best friend that I met in 1st grade. It was love at first sight, and that love only grew over the years of our friendship. She was my first kiss. After that kiss, all I wanted was to do it again. And then I hit puberty, and I wanted her, but I knew she couldn't feel the same way because she hadn't hit puberty yet. She was also a Christian, and I didn't want her to have to choose between God and me, so when I started homeschooling, I let us drift apart.

Have you ever tried praying?

If you want to see some beautiful women that look like angels google met art.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Have you ever tried praying?

If you want to see some beautiful women that look like angels google met art.

I prayed all the time to every deity I had ever heard of when I was a kid. I prayed for my biological father to die a slow and painful death and for it to snow on Christmas. The first thing happened.

[Phatt Matt s]

Have you ever tried praying?

If you want to see some beautiful women that look like angels google met art.

I prayed all the time to every deity I had ever heard of when I was a kid. I prayed for my biological father to die a slow and painful death and for it to snow on Christmas. The first thing happened.

Does it snow in Alabam?

How did your Dad Die?

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Does it snow in Alabam?

How did your Dad Die?

Sometimes. Usually in spring, actually. This year, though, we had a couple of snowstorms that caused everything to be shut down. All the northerners were making fun of us.

He got cancer when I was 6, claimed he was in remission, and then was bedridden and eventually died when I was 8. If he hadn't have died then, I might've eventually killed him myself.

[Phatt Matt s]

Does it snow in Alabam?

How did your Dad Die?

Sometimes. Usually in spring, actually. This year, though, we had a couple of snowstorms that caused everything to be shut down. All the northerners were making fun of us.

He got cancer when I was 6, claimed he was in remission, and then was bedridden and eventually died when I was 8. If he hadn't have died then, I might've eventually killed him myself.

Why?

And why do you lash out at people who love you? I do it but never understood it.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Why?

And why do you lash out at people who love you? I do it but never understood it.

He was determined to make all the women in his life completely miserable to the point of wishing they were dead, including me, because he didn't see me as a child. He would make other people miserable in order to get to those women. He threatened to kidnap my friends. He actually DID snatch my (half) brother, who he did not even have a genetic claim to. Luckily, my brother doesn't remember any of it. I wanted more than anything to make it STOP. I thought about murdering him all the time. My plan was to give him all his chemo pills and hope that he OD'd, smother him with a pillow, or get the lighter fluid and a match and light him on fire in his sleep. If a body was left, I figured I would chop it up and feed it to the dog.

I did as a child, I don't now. I had no self-control at the time, I had to attack someone, and I felt like it was safe to attack them. Because I had these violent tendencies I was afraid that as an adult I would end up in prison for domestic violence or something, but through therapy, determination, and martial arts, I learned to control my anger and violent tendencies.

[Phatt Matt s]

Why?

And why do you lash out at people who love you? I do it but never understood it.

He was determined to make all the women in his life completely miserable to the point of wishing they were dead, including me, because he didn't see me as a child. He would make other people miserable in order to get to those women. He threatened to kidnap my friends. He actually DID snatch my (half) brother, who he did not even have a genetic claim to. Luckily, my brother doesn't remember any of it. I wanted more than anything to make it STOP. I thought about murdering him all the time. My plan was to give him all his chemo pills and hope that he OD'd, smother him with a pillow, or get the lighter fluid and a match and light him on fire in his sleep. If a body was left, I figured I would chop it up and feed it to the dog.

I did as a child, I don't now. I had no self-control at the time, I had to attack someone, and I felt like it was safe to attack them. Because I had these violent tendencies I was afraid that as an adult I would end up in prison for domestic violence or something, but through therapy, determination, and martial arts, I learned to control my anger and violent tendencies.

I'll take your word for it that it wasn't a contributing factor to your same sex attraction. But it sounds like a classic story of weak feminine identity caused by mother conflicts, peer rejection, and distrust of the opposite sex.

Classic causes of homosexuality in women.