Creative writing: Fiction
March 18, 2014 at 8:13 pm
(This post was last modified: March 18, 2014 at 8:20 pm by Phatt Matt s.)
The used Colostomy bag salesman's tale
"On the third day the Angel Gabriel appeared to me with a vision of a common barn mouse seated upon two disproportionately large [censored] encompassed in a furrowed scrotum that he plaintively licked, occasionally unleashing a steaming cascade of feces from his chaffed anus.
Undoubtedly this is a parable regarding the decay of western civilization hopelessly bogged down with materialism, pride, lust, anger, covetousness, envy, sloth, and gluttony.
The vision proceeded with an army of businessmen with beepers chasing gaunt hootoo tribesman up Jacobs ladder into a dark cloud, fighting their way through naked, exasperated, and unemployed aircraft mechanics.
Those few who remained on the otherside of the cloud found themselves in a land of milk, honey, and fields of natural benzodiazepines. Their naked ebonic bodies were clothed with garments of righteousness, fluffy to the touch, as they were greeted with a parade of children fully clad in Sunday finery, throwing pedals hither and thither.
The leader of the ceremony was Prancing upon two wooden legs; an obese female version of Osama bin laden, flatulating into the flute like apparatus placed between the cheeks of her rosy fanny.
Beneath the bodhi tree was the formless three fisted yogi who gazed deeply into my heart… and spaketh he thus: "what demandest thou, untained young zachary of the scorched barley field, fruit of the Polish horsewhippers womb?
You want what every man wants, a pond chock full of goldfish, a celestial configuration of liquid teeming with life, contrived by thee, devised by thee, and ruled by thee." Every man wants control!"
Valentines Day:
She gave me a valentines day card at work. I was flattered. I followed her home, Threw a rock through the window, invited myself in, kicked down the bathroom door and found her on the toilet.
I gutted, her and then ate her spleen. I then began to nibble on her small intestine. When I sunk my teeth into her stomach I burned my mouth. So then I had a [censored] and returned to my bungalows. Same time next year I guess.
The End.
"On the third day the Angel Gabriel appeared to me with a vision of a common barn mouse seated upon two disproportionately large [censored] encompassed in a furrowed scrotum that he plaintively licked, occasionally unleashing a steaming cascade of feces from his chaffed anus.
Undoubtedly this is a parable regarding the decay of western civilization hopelessly bogged down with materialism, pride, lust, anger, covetousness, envy, sloth, and gluttony.
The vision proceeded with an army of businessmen with beepers chasing gaunt hootoo tribesman up Jacobs ladder into a dark cloud, fighting their way through naked, exasperated, and unemployed aircraft mechanics.
Those few who remained on the otherside of the cloud found themselves in a land of milk, honey, and fields of natural benzodiazepines. Their naked ebonic bodies were clothed with garments of righteousness, fluffy to the touch, as they were greeted with a parade of children fully clad in Sunday finery, throwing pedals hither and thither.
The leader of the ceremony was Prancing upon two wooden legs; an obese female version of Osama bin laden, flatulating into the flute like apparatus placed between the cheeks of her rosy fanny.
Beneath the bodhi tree was the formless three fisted yogi who gazed deeply into my heart… and spaketh he thus: "what demandest thou, untained young zachary of the scorched barley field, fruit of the Polish horsewhippers womb?
You want what every man wants, a pond chock full of goldfish, a celestial configuration of liquid teeming with life, contrived by thee, devised by thee, and ruled by thee." Every man wants control!"
Valentines Day:
She gave me a valentines day card at work. I was flattered. I followed her home, Threw a rock through the window, invited myself in, kicked down the bathroom door and found her on the toilet.
I gutted, her and then ate her spleen. I then began to nibble on her small intestine. When I sunk my teeth into her stomach I burned my mouth. So then I had a [censored] and returned to my bungalows. Same time next year I guess.
The End.
